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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in saldadatele's LiveJournal:

    Wednesday, May 13th, 2020
    12:13 pm
    Es vairs nekaunos
    Friday, May 1st, 2020
    6:18 pm
    dusmīgs, kautrīgs, savtīgs tamburīns
    Monday, April 27th, 2020
    2:13 pm
    *writing a bucket list*
    This feels silly, but makes you think, what else did I want to do?
    Not feel guilty of indulging in self-centered activities, because that is not altruistic?
    Isn't altruism an illusion?
    Labi, Arti, ej aprupē cilvēkus pansionātā, kļūsti par ārstu vai skolotāju
    So that's the cost of feeling good about yourself?
    Well, I guess I am going to be selfish then and take the responsibility of my own happiness by ignoring the potential help I could be giving.
    umm
    What? That doesn't make me a likable person?
    You were never likable, you are vegan
    Aren't we all cynical sex machines?
    If that's the way you want to think about life, go ahead
    what if I just don't want to live in an illusion?
    well, monkeys are not capable of that
    so.... just live? with some illusions and hypocrisy?
    What do you really want? Because previously you just gave me a hedonistic list of stupid things
    i want to reduce suffering
    what do you really want?
    i want to not feel bad
    what is it then that you want?
    i want to have hope for humanity
    be reasonable?
    i want to give my potential help to the people or sentient beings in need so i wouldn't feel guilty by not doing so
    and how are you going to that?
    by changing my mind to thinking that I am entitled to nothing in this life, certainly not any inherent meaning
    so weed, Netflix, prostitutes?
    hell yeah
    just come back when you're feeding guilty again
    Monday, April 20th, 2020
    4:00 pm
    cringe cringe cringe
    šķiet, ka es saprotu vairāk nekā spēju izteikties
    man kauns
    teorētiski es kā persona nepastāvu, bet esmu citu cilvēķu priekštats par mani, ne?
    tas ir absurds, cik liela kontrole citiem ir pār tevi
    es varu būt jebkas, bet katru reizi, katru reizi, ieslīkstu dziļāk ar savu priekštatu par citu priekšnojautu par manu esenci, vērtībām, rīcībām
    if that makes sense
    vai pašnavība ir ētiska, ja tavi vecāki ir beigti un tev nav draugu?
    patērēsi tikai mazāk resursus

    neuztraucies, es neesmu suicidal, bet acīmredzot, man pietrūkst uzmanības
    laime ir savtīga
    man nebūs nekad bērni un es neticu, ka mani brāļi ir tik muļķīgi
    tas neko nemaina
    Thursday, April 2nd, 2020
    5:27 pm
    Klausījos kā ledusskapis rūc
    Sunday, March 22nd, 2020
    5:56 pm
    Thursday, March 19th, 2020
    1:01 pm
    nezinu vai vēlos rakstīt publisku dienasgrāmatu, viss rakstītais pēc dienas šķiet muļķīgs
    Tuesday, March 17th, 2020
    3:54 pm
    LIFE UPDATE
    Nemāku raktīt darbā atskaites
    Tēvs ar draudzeni uz vasaru plāno dzīvot laukos.
    Paņēmu brīvu nedēļu no darba, lai nav jābrauc uz Rīgu
    bezmērķība at it's finest
    taisu brālim brokastis, pusdienas un vakariņas, virtuve vairs nesmird :)
    Atnāca vakara divi senāki draugi ciemos, esmu mainījies diezgan
    Agris uzņēma man bildes, esmu bāls un plikpaurains
    Visi muskuļi saspringti no pārliekas gulēšans, būs jāvingro ha
    saņemies
    Monday, March 16th, 2020
    1:28 pm
    short term goals
    -not feel bad
    -nepieļaut tik daudz kļūdas
    -not be angry
    -ugh
    Tuesday, March 10th, 2020
    11:52 pm
    Tēvs ar draudzeni skatās pusaudžu mērķauditorijas Netflix šovu

    Current Mood: mildly funny
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