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Saturday, January 17th, 2009

    Time Event
    3:30p
    i shan't call it a meme
    so i'm home. 9.18. friday. bleh.i'm just thinking: "i need to clean. i need to work on projects. i need to do homework. i need to study. i need to work on the gay book. i need to make thank you cards. i need to read books. i need to clean out my refrigerator. i need to wash clothes. i need to research. i need to organize spectrum stuff. i need to email everyone on my list of people to email. i need to spend time with marisa. i need to..."so, of course, i read old entries of LJ. Which was actually quite hilarious and nostalgic. I was straight. Lacey was co-chair of spectrum and dating reagan. I listened to music and read books and went to class. imagine the chaos. then i thought this: i want to start one of those things that goes around LJ. Ha, how fun. so, here it is, and everyone MUST participate.go through your archives and find the first survey you filled out. Post the survey and the date. post your current thoughts in italicsWhat lyrics to songs do you feel best describe how you feel about these things:ok, so i posted more than just a lyric+ Friendship:when i grow up, i want to be a pretenderOh, why you look so sad? The tears are in your eyes. Come on and come to me now. Dont be ashamed to cry. Let me see you through, Cause Ive seen the dark side too. When the night falls on you, You dont know what to do, Nothing you confessCould make me love you less, Ill stand by you. Ill stand by you. Wont let nobody hurt you,Ill stand by you.So, if youre mad get mad. Dont hold it all inside. Come on and talk to me now. And what youve got to hide? I get angry too When Im in love like you. When youre standing at the crossroads, Dont know which path to chose, Let me come along, Cause even if youre wrong,Ill stand by you. Ill stand by you. Wont let nobody hurt you, Ill stand by youTake me in until your darkest hourAnd Ill never desert youIll stand by youAnd when, when the night falls on you babyYoure feeling all aloneYou wont be on your ownIll stand by youThe Pretenders Ill stand by you+ Pain:this is one of the best songs to scream on repeat driving a 3 hour route from home one to home twoMy head is heavy and bent like a craneThe wrecking ball blues are coming againLatham says, "Babe, you know life is a ride,"But livin's no fun when you're dead inside I pierce myself to wake up my veinsI'd pierce my heart if I thought things would changeI'm just like skin that's been stung and restungCampfire songs that are sung and resungFor a girl my age why am I so numb? I'm chasing a lie I was soldRunning down thieves and fool's goldThese Christmas dreams are just painted coal I been swallowed up by greed, I've been spat upon by lustThey ain't playin' with your money they're playin' with your trustAnd I'm tryin' so hard to stop sitting stillTo gather the juice that's been spent or been spilledFound a spark in myself that hasn't been killedCause if Death doesn't get ya then Life surely will I've been chasing a lie I was soldRunning down thieves and fool's goldThese Christmas dreams are just painted... We've been chasing a lie we were soldWe're running down thieves and fool's goldThese Christmas dreams are just painted, just paintedJust painted, just painted Coal... Talk about an early frost Bree Sharp Fools Gold+ Breakup:no commentI would swallow my pride I would choke on the rind. But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside I would swallow my doubt Turn it inside out Find nothing but faith in nothing.Want to put my tender heart in a blender.Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion.Rendezvous then I'm through with you I burn burn like a wicker cabinet Chalk white and oh so frail I see our time here's gotten stale. The tick tock of the clock is painful. All sane and logicalI want to tear it off the wall I hear words in clips and phrasesI think sick like ginger ale. My stomach turns and I exhale. I would swallow my prideI would choke on the rind. But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside I would swallow my doubt Turn it inside out Find nothing but faith in nothing.Want to put my tender heart in a blenderWatch it spin around like a beautiful oblivionRendez-vous then I'm through with you. So Cal is where my mind states But it's not my state of mindI'm not as ugly sad as you. Or am I origami folded up and just pretend Demented as the motives in your head I would swallow my prideI would choke on the rind. But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside I would swallow my doubt Turn it inside out Find nothing but faith in nothing.Want to put my tender heart in a blenderWatch it spin around like a beautiful oblivionRendez-vous then I'm through with you. I alone am the oneYou don't know you need me Take heed feed your ego. Make me blind when your eyes close Sink when you get closetie me to the bedpost.So you can have your cake and eat it tooEve 6 Inside Out+ Death:i can't even remember this song now. i need more drake in my lifeFame is but a fruit treeSo very unsound.It can never flourishTill its stalk is in the ground.So men of fameCan never find a wayTill time has flownFar from their dying day.Forgotten while you're hereRemembered for a whileA much updated ruinFrom a much outdated style.Life is but a memoryHappened long ago.Theatre full of sadnessFor a long forgotten show.Seems so easyJust to let it go on byTill you stop and wonderWhy you never wondered why.Safe in the wombOf an everlasting nightYou find the darkness canGive the brightest light.Safe in your place deep in the earthThat's when they'll know what you were really worth.Forgotten while you're hereRemembered for a whileA much updated ruinFrom a much outdated style.Fame is but a fruit treeSo very unsound.It can never flourishTill its stalk is in the ground.So men of fameCan never find a wayTill time has flownFar from their dying day.Fruit tree, fruit treeNo-one knows you but the rain and the air.Don't you worryThey'll stand and stare when you're gone.Fruit tree, fruit treeOpen you eyes to another year.They'll all knowThat you were here when you're gone.Nick drake Fruit tree(How very appropriate)+ Biggest fear: oh, i'm funny(for some reason, there isn't a song about the Killer Klowns from Outer Space, so Reba will have to do)I've got something to tell you that I just can't saySo I'm writing it down in case maybe somedayOur lives take a turn down a roadWe can't see right nowI know you're happy and I'm happy for youBut since you found each otherI've been so confusedCause I believe there's one soul on this earthThat was meant for mineI was sent here to findWhat if it's youWhat if our hearts were meant to be oneWhat'll I doKnowing that I'll never love anyoneAs much as I do love youWhat if it's trueWhat if it's youIf destiny called and I missed my cueDo I get one more chanceOh how I wish I knewI'll never again put my heart in the hands of fateIf it's not too lateWhat if it's youWhat if our hearts were meant to be oneWhat'll I doKnowing that I'll never love anyoneAs much as I do love youWhat if it's trueWhat if it's youIf I ever hold you I'll never let goBut if I never do how will I knowWhat if it's youWhat if our hearts were meant to be oneWhat'll I doKnowing that I'll never love anyoneAs much as I do love youWhat if it's trueWhat if it's youWhat'll I doWhat if it's trueWhat if it's youReba What if its you+ Life:i think i'd still pick this songNobody loves you when you're down and outNobody sees you when you're on cloud nineEverybody's hustlin' for a buck and a dimeI'll scratch your back and you scratch mine I've been across to the other sideI've shown you everything, I got nothing to hideAnd still you ask me do I love you, what it is, what it isAll I can tell you is it's all show bizAll I can tell you is it's all show biz Nobody loves you when you're down and outNobody knows you when you're on cloud nineEverybody's hustlin' for a buck and a dimeI'll scratch your back and you knife mine I've been across the water now so many timesI've seen the one eyed witchdoctor leading the blindAnd still you ask me do I love you, what you say, what you sayEverytime I put my finger on it, it slips awayEverytime I put my finger on it, it slips away Well I get up in the morning and I'm looking in the mirror to see, ooo wee!Then I'm lying in the darkness and I know I can't get to sleep, ooo wee! Nobody loves you when you're old and greyNobody needs you when you're upside downEverybody's hollerin' 'bout their own birthdayEverybody loves you when you're six foot in the groundJohn The Man Lennon Nobody love you (when youre down and out)+ Love:fuck, why am i so corny and unoriginal?Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower, and you it's only seed. It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance. It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give. And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live. When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long, And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows, Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes The Rose. Bette Midler The Rose+ Humor:ah, memoriesIts rather dull in town I think Ill take me to Paris, Ths missus wants to up the castle in Capris, Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea. Wouldnt it be loverly??All I want is a room somewhereFar away form the cold night airWith one enormous chairOh, wouldnt it be loverly? Lots of chocolate for me to eat, lots of coal making lots of `eat. Warm face warm `ands warm feet Aow, wouldnt it be loverlyOh so loverly sitting abso-blooming-lutely still. I would never budge `til spring crept oer me windowsill. Someones `ead resting on my knee. Warm and tender as `e can be, who takes good care of me.Oh wouldnt it be loverly??My Fair Lady (Marni Nixon/Julie Andrews) Wouldnt it be loverly+ School:i miss this song, i can't believe i forgot all about itVincent, will you teach me how to paint? Theresa, will I ever be a saint? John, I really think your songs are great. I was born too late. William, will you teach me how to write? And, Cassius, will you show me how to fight? Thomas, hey, I think I see the light. I was born tonight. Ive had a hard time leaving this town. Ive been losing everything that Ive found. Im gonna search the sky, kiss the ground, build it up, and tear it back down. Ive had a hard time leaving this place. Ive been counting all the lines on my face. Im gonna curse the sky, hit the ground, and what goes up comes tumbling down. Jimmy, show me how you play that thing. Elvis, will I ever be a king? And, Jerry, all the joy and love you bring. I was born to sing. Martin Luther King, show me the way. Jesus, Buddha, teach me how to pray. Christopher, I think I see the day. I was born today. I was born today.I was born too late.The Clarks Born too late+ Home:*bangs head on the wall* please no please no please noUh, uh, this is some deep shit.Oh, oh, look away. Momma please stop crying. I cant stand the sound. Your pain is painful, and its tearing me down. I hear glasses breaking, as I sit up in my bed. I told Dad you didnt mean those nasty things you said. You fight about money, `bout me and my brother. And this I come home to, this is my shelter. It aint easy growing up in World War Three. Never knowing what love could be. You see, I dont want love to destroy me like it has done my family. Pink Family portrait+ Romance: this is BEFORE mtv met john. you know, back when we had a close personal relationshipWeve got the afternoon. Youve got this room for two. One thing Ive left to do. Discover me, discovering you. One mile to every inch of your skin like porcelain. One pair of candy lips and your bubble gum tongue. And if you want love, well make it. Swim in a deep sea of blankets. Now take all your big plans and break them. This is bound to be a while. Your body is a wonderland. Your body is a wonderland.(Ill use my hands.) Your body is a wonderland. Something bout the way the hair falls in your face. I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase. You tell me where to go, and, though I might leave to find it,Ill never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it. You want love, well make it. Swim in a deep sea of blankets. Now take all your big plans and break them. This is bound to be a while. Your body is a wonderland. Your body is a wonderland. (Ill use my hands.) Your body is a wonderland. Damn baby, you frustrate me. I know youre mine all mine all mine. But you look so good it hurts sometimes. John Mayer Your body is a wonderland+ Distance: you can never lose with styxIm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea. Cause Ive got to be free, free to face the life thats ahead me. On board Im a captain, so climb aboard. Well search for tomorrow on every shore. And, Ill try, oh lord, Ill try to carry on. I look to the sea. Reflections in the waves spark my memories. Some happy, some sad. I think of childhood friends, and the dreams we had. We lived forever, so the story goes. But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold. But well try best that we can to carry on.Styx Come Sail Away+Angerdear, dear poeJohnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell I wanna kill you, I wanna blow you...away I can do it you gently I can do it with an animal's grace I can do it with precision I can do it with gourmet taste Chorus: But either way Either (way), either way I wanna kill you I wanna blow you... Away I can do it to your mind I can do it to your face I can do it with integrity I can do it with disgrace Chorus Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell I can do it in a church I can do it any time or place I can do it like an angel To quiet down your rage Chorus I can do it in the water I can do on dry land I can do it with instruments I can do it with my own bare hands But either way Either way, you know where it stands I wanna kill you I wanna blow you... Away Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell Johnny, oh my Johnny Where did your pleasure go When the pain came through you Where did your happiness go This force is running you around now Getting you down now Where is your pleasure now Johnny Where has your pleasure gone now Johnny, Angry Johnny...Poe Angry Johnny+Sadnessone of the best songs in the history of best songs. i want to cry every time i hear it.feeling scared today write down "i am ok" a hundred times the doctors say I am ok I am ok Im not ok skin is crawling off mopping the sweaty drops sticking around for this shit another day another day not another day pink pill feels good finally understood take me in your warm, embrace I am trying I am tryingEels Electro-shock bluesName the lyrics that...+ Make you cry/want to cry the most:and then i just stopped listening to ben kweller. i think i turned too lesbianLet me get lost. Ill drive you around`til I run out of gas. Find me a boss. There are ripples in my tea cause an earthquakes coming.And theres people meeting on Mars. And people driving in their cars. And kids are laughing under the stars todayLet me go hide. Find a box to put BK inside. Things are so well. Were blowing shit up only you could tell. And theres people meeting on Mars. And people driving in their cars. And kids are laughing under the stars today.No reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason to cry.Im going against every person that I once walked with. Things are happening. My cat is sleeping and my jade trees dying. And theres people meeting on Mars and people crashing in their cars and kids are kissing under the stars today. No reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason to say goodbye. No reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason to no reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason reason. Theres no reason to cry. Ben Kweller No Reason+ Make you smile/happiest the most:i'm just happy reading the lyrics and singing in my headHey world, here I am.Dont tell me not to fly, Ive simply got to. If someone takes a spill, its me and not you. Dont bring around a cloud to rain on my parade. Dont tell me not to live, just sit and putter. Lifes candy and the sun is a ball of butter. Who said youre allowed to rain on my parade.Im gonna march my band out, Ill beat my drum. And if Im fanned out, your turn at bat, sir. Hey, at least I didnt fake it. Hat, sir, so what, I didnt make it. But whether Im a rose of sheer perfection, or a freckle on the nose of lifes complexion, A Cinderella or a shiny apple of an eyethe cinder of the shiny apple of its eye.Ive got to fly once, Ive got to try once, only can die once, right, sir. Oh love is juicy, juicy, and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. So get ready for me love, cause Imma coma. Ive simply gotta march, my hearts a drumma. Dont bring around a cloud to rain on my parade. Yes, sirNo, sirI'm gonna live and live nowGet what I want, I know howAll that the law will allowOne roll for the whole shebangOne throw that bell will go clangThough I'm alone I'm a gangEye on the target and whamOne shot, one gun shot and bamBobby Darin (or Funny Girl Dont rain on my parade+ Make you think the most:i think this is around the final time that i stopped jumping between identifying as an atheist or agnostic. i finally admitted to myself that i never believed that there was anything other than me and meDear God, hope you got the letter, and I pray you can make it better down here. I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer. But all the people that you made in your image, see them starving on their feet, cause they dont get enough to eat from God. I cant believe in you. Dear God, sorry to disturb you but I feel that I should be heard loud and clear. We all need a big reduction in amount of tears. And all the people that you made in your image, see them fighting in the street, cause they cant make opinions meet about God. I cant believe in you.Did you make disease, and the diamond blue? Did you make mankind after we made you? And the devil too. Dear God, dont know if you noticed, but, your name is on a lot of quotes in this book. Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look. And all the people that you made in your image still believing that junk is true. Well, I know it aint and so do you. Dear God, I cant believe in, I dont believe in, I wont believe in Heaven and Hell, no saints no sinners no devil as well. No pearly gates, no phony crown, youre always letting us humans down. The wars you bring, the babes you drown, those lost at sea and never found. And its the same the whole world round. The hurt I see helps to compound. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost is just somebody's unholy hoax. And if you're up there, you perceivethat my heart's here upon my sleeve. If there's one thing I don't believe in... it's you, dear God.XTC Dear God+ Make you reminisce the most:*tear*... such vivid images of this song still. europe, can we be bff?Lost in the Milky Way,smile at the empty sky and wait forthe moment a million chances may all collide.I'll be the guiding light,swim to me through stars that shine down,and call to the sleeping World as they fall to Earth.So here's your life,we'll find our way,we're sailing blind,but it's certain nothing's certain.I don't mind,I get the feelingyou'll be fine,I still believethat in this World,we've got to find the time...for the Life of Riley.From cradles and sleepless nights,you breathe in life forever,and stare at the World from deep under eiderdown.Although this World is a crazy ride,you just take your seat and hold on tight.So here's your life,we'll find our way,we're sailing blind,but it's certain nothing's certain.I don't mind,I get the feelingyou'll be fine,I still believethat in this World,we've got to find the time...for the first timeThe Lightning Seeds The life of Riley+ Have hit you as poetryobligatory audrey hepburn referenceMoon riverWider than a mileI'm crossing you in styleSome day...Old dream makerYou heart breakerWherever you're goingI'm going your way...Two driftersOff to see the worldThere's such a lot of worldTo see...We're after the same rainbow's endWaiting around the bendMy Huckleberry friendMoon River and me...Audrey Hepburn (it was written for her) Moon River+ Have defined exactly what you felt when you thought no one could:she still says it better than i could ever hope to. i will marry you one day, fionaI was staring at the sky, just looking for a starTo pray on, or wish on, or something like thatI was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boyWhose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be hadBut then the dove of hope began its downward slopeAnd I believed for a moment that my chancesWere approaching to be grabbedBut as it came down near, so did a weary tear-I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag-Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it killsCuz I know Im a mess he dont wanna clean upI got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold-Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to loveAnd I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climbLooking for a little hopeBaby said he couldnt stay, wouldnt put his lips to mine,And a fail to kiss is a fail to copeI said, Honey, I dont feel so good, dont feel justifiedCome on put a little love here in my void, He said Its all in your head, and I said, Sos everything -But he didnt get it - I thought he was a manBut he was just a little boy-Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it killsCuz I know Im a mess he dont wanna clean upI got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold-Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love-Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it killsCuz I know Im a mess he dont wanna clean upI got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold-Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to loveFiona Apple-"Paper Bag"

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