ja iet attieciga noskanojuma un pa attiecigam ielinam, Riga tomer atgadina Parizi.

Mūzika: Edit Piaf - Sous le Ciel de Paris

Like most nations we have this national hero, a Latvian Superman. However, ours is way cooler. His name is Lacplesis (The Bear Ripper / Slasher). His mother was a lady bear (well, what do you call female bears?). He was very strong and looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, only with the ears of a bear (as the only genetic manifestation of his bear roots). When he turned 18, to prove his strength, he ripped apart a bear that he accidentally met in the forest. This episode always freaks me out a bit, but never mind. Then Lacplesis had many more fights, some of them – to free Latvia from invaders – and became our Latvian hero. During the very last of his fights he met the Boss of All Evils – the Black Knight. They had this battle on the steep banks of Daugava river (it’s the biggest in Latvia). They were like Muhammad Ali vs. Joe Frazier, incredible! Lacplesis was a clear winner until the moment the Black Knight used an evil, nasty, prohibited move and cut off one of Lacplesis’ ears. It appeared that all of Lacplesis’ strength was concentrated in his ears. (Kind of like Samson and his hair.) Then the Black Knight (in an even meaner manner) cut off Lacplesis’ other ear and from this point on the battle went wrong: they got into a clinch, lost their balance and fell into the cold, dark Daugava river. Legend tells that when it’s a full moon and you’re standing by the Daugava river, you can still see two men fighting and hear them clanging their swords, and words like „What’s your problem?“, „Yeah, who do you think you are?“ brought to you by this summer night breeze… You can buy Lacplesis statues in souvenir shops all over Latvia (even in the airport). No statues of the Black Knight though, because he was a 100% dork.

klusums dažubrīd ir iedarbīgāks par atombumbu. iznīcina lēnām, bet pamatīgi.