09:52 pm - Learing to loveLearing to be someone is not easy, but even more difficult is to learn to love yourself even then, when you make mistakes. Love is one of the easiest and most complicated things in this world. There is almost nothing logical behind it. Unless it is choice to love someone. I came to liking this idea that we choose to love, not that some magic happens and we fall in love. Like we choose to love our familiy, because we can't choose family where we born into. At the same time I also happen to know love that makes no sense, just feeling. But who knows, maybe in our subconsciousness we make this choice, but it never surfaces to tell us we did. Trying to take care of myself at best of my ablility. It is interesting to see, how over time I still catch myself to find out more and more things I like, things I didn't know. Neverneding story. And thank you Lord it is neverending knowledge out there to explore. I would die of boredom otherwise. This last week didn't really had lot of chance to go to gym. It feels like my training takes more and more time. I know now, if I go to gym, I need 3 hours at the least to do all the things I want to do there in order to feel like I haven't wasted my time going downhills to the center and back up. I enjoy it a lot though'. It is like clearing my mind of all things and just dedicating my time for my body, to heal it, to train it, to make it race the blood in my veins. Breathing out all the worries, uncertainties and stress. I race myself to do more and more, to give more energy in order to get more of it back. I would really enjoy one day to do some great sporting event, like running marathon or maybe participate in that run, swim, cycle thingie, that we have back home around our lake. I latley feel stronger and if I would try harder, maybe it is more than just possible.
Healing, working, believing. With believing have to work little more, but soon. Drake, Alicia Keys - Fireworks
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