Cirmuļa atklāsmes - 22. Janvāris 2009

after all it isn't so important who gets what, I'm only worried about my conscience. my feelings of guilt and my sanity.

I am, you see, essentially a good guy.
I'm not one of the bad guys.
to me, it's important to do the right thing.

and while striving to do so, I'm bound to get, shall we say, hurt.
I've overpaid most of the debts I've had and given more credit than I ever should have.
I've been cheated and lied to, in terms of both money and heart.
I've forgiven and forgotten things that would have torn apart any other people.
still, I do it every time a situation comes along again.
I can't see myself being a liar and cheater even if others can be that way.

so you see, conscience is a heavy burden to bear.
and I am only sometimes happy that I'm not the only one of the kind here.
because the people of conscience are good and right but unappreciated mostly.
except, of course, by those who cheat them.

and in spite of wanting to do the right thing and doing it, I still feel like such a dork just for letting everyone else have their way.

the moral: screw the right thing! if you can.

laiks viegli tipina pa riņķi.
es aizmirstu, es aizmirstu, es aizmirstu,
pametu domas, pametu vietas,
bet visas cūcības atgriežas pašas par sevi.
vai nav baisi?
ka atgriežas gan labas, gan sliktas lietas.

nu vispār jau nekas arī nav.
es atkal samaksāšu vairāk par neko,
vēlreiz norīšu krupi,
kārtējo reizi samaksāšu
tam, kurš mani pie krusta sita,
un solīšu, ka pēdējo reizi,
pašu pēdējo reizi
tā daru,
un tad atkal viss būs no gala.
kā lai paliek vienā mirklī par kaut ko citu.