Cirmuļa atklāsmes - 3. Decembris 2008

the world seems to be optimistic. all the useless tv is optimistic. the freaking songs on the radio are optimistic. the people around me push me to think optimistically. but the things I plan and they support don't work out. the wars I fight are never won. the woman who spoke at my father's funeral service just serviced her husband away.
I don't see anything beyond here and now. there is a great black hole before me, and the days and hours and seconds just wallow into it right in front of my eyes. I can't make any sense of them, or find a reason to change anything - and I start to fear not only the future but the present as well. the entire world is a huge phobia-inducing rolling stone, and I happen to be in its way.

Manas mājas, mana īrētā dzīvokļa mājas pagrabā dzīvo kaķis, trīskrāsains. man šovakar ļoti skumji, tad nu es iedomājos par kaķi. viņš tur dzīvo un diezin vai skumst. kaķi neskumst, man liekas. varbūt viņi zina kaut ko tādu, līdz kam es neesmu aizdomājies.