Cirmuļa atklāsmes - 19. Septembris 2006

tikai vienu minūtīti, tūliņ iešu pusdienās, bet jāpieraksta doma:

these days we catastrophically lack reasons.

you hear people talking about the cases when some person goes into a kindergarten and begins shooting at anyone and anything, and people say: why, this is totally nutso, it's absolutely unreasonable, there can be no possible grounds for such actions, it's just sick.

but the joke is that there are so many things that "normal" people do without reasons, just the same as shooting in kindergartens - their keen reaction to this is only a residue of a moral value system, the last remains of an exertion of a wilful direction in society.

at present so many things are so easy to do that a 'reason' has to be something grand, something out of the line of everyday actions. in a way, our society is becoming, so to say, extreme in its interests.

especially the lower middle class and above (or maybe i am indeed talking only about this group of people) finds not much to desire.
when stepping above the class of society which is still 'working to eat', one can observe that money is, ironically, facing the same fate that it brought to the pre-monetary trading means - with credits and leasings available for nearly anything, the actual physical presentation of money is slowly fading. what you earn at your job is no longer a means of survival - it is a means of obtaining - since the sums are too big to be carried around in one's hand. theoretically, such fading of the physicality of money should reduce the capacity for greed, but in reality it does not work. greed is simply transferred to the next level - power.

returning to reasons, people seem to underappreciate their jobs and the way they earn and how much they earn exactly because of this - the lack of reasons. what reasons can there be to work if you basically only need to get to a certain stage of wealthiness to be able to take close-to-unlimited amount of credits and never work again? of course, nobody will see it exactly this way, but the underlying disposition seems to be that.

creative reasons are the only ones which remain stable - since human mind has always had the need for self-expression.
however, the creative reasons are also the most dubious ones - murder can be excited by a creative impulse just as well as painting.

so much for the reasons.

esmu galīgi samulsis -

parādiet man kāds, lūdzu, vienu skaistu cilvēku un vienu neglītu - es vairs neatšķiru, ziniet!

Garastāvoklis:: confused

melns purvs
pie kājām
pavērās no melnas rāvas,
mans atspulgs
bija akacī,
un āda smirdēja pēc nāves.

starp vīzijām
par elli, debesīm,
un kauju atspīdumu acīs,
pār zemi
slīdēja
rēgs, kas šo pekli racis.

tas smējās,
raudāja
un auroja, cik spēja,
caur mani
dubļi
vējoja un viņpasaules vēji

"Ak velns!"
kliedzu,
gaiss ar zemi jaucās,
"Ak Dievs!"
es saucu,
bet neviens man neatsaucās.