Recent Entries

10/29/17 05:50 pm

the coldest human - INTJ - Fi core, Te shell
and the warmest machine - INTP - Ti core, Fe shell

10/29/17 03:12 pm

Stellar Maze sounds like an insider. He must certainly be an INFJ, nu pirmajā acu uzmetienā vai vismaz Ni dom ar diez gan precīziem insights, tik precīziem, ka patīkami stindzina.

Yes, I know there is no T in INFJ. Nonetheless, it is very important to INFJs. See how much they love Ti and pull towards its crystal visions any chance they get. Aah, where all is pure and unsullied. Where all is heights and laughter. Where there are no mortal troubles and all phenomena can be categorized and put into a pure and closed system. Watch INFJs fool you into thinking they are an Intuitive Thinking type. And many of them almost are. But, woe betide the INFJ who gets locked into the Tertiary Temptation loop, thereby bypassing their Fe auxiliary function. A rare suffering is in store for them. O, how you were promised heaven, and given hell. Nonetheless, what a ride.

10/29/17 03:05 pm - Continuities


Nothing is ever really lost, or can be lost,
No birth, identity, form—no object of the world.
Nor life, nor force, nor any visible thing;
Appearance must not foil, nor shifted sphere confuse thy brain.
Ample are time and space—ample the fields of Nature.
The body, sluggish, aged, cold—the embers left from earlier fires,
The light in the eye grown dim, shall duly flame again;
The sun now low in the west rises for mornings and for noons continual;
To frozen clods ever the spring’s invisible law returns,
With grass and flowers and summer fruits and corn.


Walt Whitman

9/27/17 12:03 am

9/3/17 09:35 pm - Love v2.0 I'm ready

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

9/3/17 12:33 am

Es izlasīju šo Dario Nardi interviju un uzreiz pasūtīju viņa jauno grāmatu, kaut arī neesmu lasījusi viņa oriģinālos pētījumus, bet tie vinemēr bija kaut kur fonā, bet nenonāca līdz manam redzes lokam. What has he been up to all this time. So curious. Viņš ir samiksējis Jungu un jogu. My two fave things together. Type & mind-body spirituality. Mid-life passage which is all too familiar un strange yogic ideas I don't really know too much about. I'm looking forward to his little gem of a book for what little morsel of insight it is worth no more no less but I was delighted to hear about it, līdzīgi kā, kad uzgāju kaut kādas variācijas un remiksus par tēmu enneagramma. Es gribētu sakompilēt manu fave book list, ar grāmatām, kuras esmu un neesmu izlasījusi, bet tad man būtu par katru kaut kas jāraksta personīgi, but I don't do words.

there seem to be only two meaningful tasks in life:

— spiritual growth

— one’s “karmic obligations” (family, using one’s gifts for others via career, etc.)


Interviju uzgāju Nardi-Guļenko fusion lapā no Ben David, kura youtube kanālu agrāk mēdzu skatīties, kur viņš ierastajā apakškreklā ērti pie sava galda piesēties taisa video zvanus ar insiders club, Johnatanu, Hannu utt, un tad viņš vienmēr extra gari un entuziastiski skaidro kaut kādas teorijas un reklamē savas grāmatas. Pērle. Lol-worthy. Tik daudz pērļu, nezinu kur sākt, ja vispār.

9/3/17 12:25 am




Things aren’t all so tangible and sayable as people would usually have us believe; most experiences are unsayable, they happen in a space that no word has ever entered, and more unsayable than all other things are works of art, those mysterious existences, whose life endures beside our own small, transitory life.

8/23/17 07:41 pm

I don't know. I find this really funny and true. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9edtHJMaws0 Laikam atkal tāpēc, ka Graves Six has outgrown its agenda these days. It was necessary some years ago or nowadays still in non western societies that are level 3, 4, 5 (Africa, Middle East etc) but for the most part world has outgrown it and it's just an outrage now. I wish people would level up and do that thing transcend & include where you don't necessarily throw out your old values but do transcend them and go places and find something even better. #spiral dynamics #clare graves

7/29/17 07:35 pm

I lean over your meaning's edge and feel the dizziness of the things you have not said. And the dizziness of the things unsaid for us fans of dizziness is ecstasy, the vertigo.

We Plants Are Happy Plants is the nicest lost in a visualmelt psychomelt vortex channel but I try to consume it wisely and sparingly.

7/26/17 08:44 pm

- I don't have any personal history. One day I found out that personal history was no longer necessary for me, and, like drinking, I dropped it.

- How can one drop one's personal history? I asked in an argumentative mood.

- One must first have the desire to drop it. And then one must proceed harmoniously to chop it off, little by little. Little by little you must create a fog around yourself. You must erase everything around you until nothing can be taken for granted; until nothing is any longer for sure, or real. Begin with simple things, such as not revealing what you really do. Then you must leave everyone who knows you well. This way you'll build up a fog around yourself.

- I argued that I did not like to deliberately mystify people or mislead them. His reply was that I misled everybody anyway.

- When one does not have personal history nothing that one says can be taken for a lie. Your trouble is that you have to explain everything to everybody, compulsively, and at the same time you want to keep the freshness, the newness of what you do. Well, since you can't be excited after explaining everything you've done, you lie in order to keep on going. .. From now on you must simply show people whatever you care to show them, but without ever telling exactly how you've done it.

7/23/17 03:31 pm

Uzliku instas profila bio sadaļā tekstu software & soul engineer, jo man tas ienāca prātā un likās, ka ļoti labi skan, un arī cause I am... both of those, you'd be surprised. I'm definitely not a hardware engineer though that's for sure, nowhere near but I'd like to occasionally try.

Anyway I've been doing so much field research and poking and counselling people un arī ķimerējusies ap softu. Vajadzēja apstāju un šorīt beidzot pamodos un sajutos mierpilni viena savā mikrokosmā, jo rr nav mājās un mājās valda klusums un putekļu mākonīši, gaismas nav ieslēgtas, aizkari aizvilkti, randiņu man nogalei nav tikai milzu kaudze ar todo-s. Uzrāvu džemperi un šortus pāri legingu pidžambiksēm un kreklam, apāvu kājas, saspraudu matus astē un gāju pēc svētdienas rīta kafijas un iepirkt kādu dārzeni ledusskapim. Gāju pa mazām ieliņām un piefiksēju cik katrs kvadrātmilimetrs izskatās labi tukšā mākoņainā svētdienas rītā. Ielās bjia putni, kurus parasti nemana dēļ kaiju pārākuma. Viens balodis, viena žagata. Iedomājos, ka šis ir viens no pēdējiem gājieniem pa šajām ieliņām un sapratu, ka man tās pietrūks, īpaši šādās apmākušās jūlija dienās, kad viss ir it kā sazaļojis, bet bez sutas. Man pietrūks aizmugures pagalmu dārziņi, gan glītie, gan džungļainie ar pāraugušo zāli. Un tas kā no akmens sētām aug ārā puķītes, efejas un lieli krūmu puduri apvijas apkārt sētām un vārtiņiem un lieli koki apsedz garāžu jumtus un mans prāts allaž savā modus operandi plāno uz kura jumta varētu uzrāpties bet mans ķermenis never does, un pa kādai vecai siltumnīcai vai lapenei ar baltu nolupušu krāsu un katru lietu un māju es pazīstu šajā rajonā. Un vieglā satiksmes šalka. Es pēcāk arī gribētu dzīvot vidēji klusā zonā, bet tomēr dzirdēt mašīnas no ielas. Tagad es zinu, ka es ļoti mīlu Skotiju un es nekad nevēlos dzīvot nekur citur. It's been too long, and I've grown old here.

No rīta es pamodos arī ar domu, ka viss es tagad zinu, ka es nevaru uzticēties savai sirdij. Man liekas, ka esmu manījusi līdzīgu tēmu cibā. Bet es šobrīd domāju, ka nevaru uzticēties savai tieši mīlestības lietās, jo tā vienmēr mani piečakarē, even though we're swimming deep and seeing things es tomēr nevaru tai uzticēties, jo viņa man iestāsta, ka ir kaut kāda patiesība pat ar ļoti detalizētiem pierādījumiem bet tad vēlāk apgāž iepriekšējo truth, līdzarto es vairs negribu spēlēt to spēli, tāpēc esmu izlēmusi tagad sekot savam prātam. Šis nav nekāds jaunatklājums vispār, bet nesen pieliku pēdējo punktu, kad secināju, ka mana sirds ir vienkārši saskaitusies uz cilvēku ko viņa pati bija identificējusi kā soulmate un tas nav nekāds vieglais zīda dieziņa statement... that stuff was real. Un tad viņai apnika un viss traucēja. Bet mans prāts ir gudrāks un es zinu, ka mēs tik un tā esam soulmates vai arī vismaz esam vienoti vērtībās par dzīvi (infj 4w3 + infp 4w5, kur vēl ko tādu var atrast) so I am going to continue this path pat ja man ir jāvelk mana sirds negribīgi sev līdzi piesietai striķītī no aizmugures spirinamies un gauži raudam. I'm so much wiser than her foolish tantrums. Es zinu, ko es vēlos, jo būtībā pašu core mēs trijatā kopsapulcē reiz nodefinējām. Trijatā t.i. mind, body, soul, varbūt arī spirit, es nezinu vai spirit ir separate entity. Jungs saka ka ir, jo soul ir vīrieša anima bet spirit ir sievietes animus.

Anyway, tas ko es vēlētos būtībā ir beigt dauzīties apkārt, taisīt karjeru vai sacensties ar sevi metafizikas apgūšanā. Tagad man gribētos family un settling down un es to varu pateikt mierīgi liekot roku uz sirds, jā uz tās pašas muļķītes sirds. Laikam tas ir skaitlis 30, kas liek par sevi manīt vai arī certain authorities have brainwashed my easily brainwashable brain (don't worry brain, you're fine, there there, i still love you much), bet man beidzot ir apnicis būt par stipru, neatkarīgu sievieti, un tagad es gribētu, ka kāds atnāk un mani pasargā no ļauna un dod pajumti un ļauj man būt par viņa forever muse un goddess un feminine retreat. Nesen es nejauši izmēģināto narkotiku sarakstā pievienoju kokaīna bišķiņu sajauktu kopā ar metamfetamīnu, kas ir nenormāls death sentence. This is how much I've lived. Can I please stop now. Un mans boss pateica, ka es esmu otrais labākais prorammētājs no astoņiem nesenioriem. This is how much I've lived. Can I please stop now. I'm not any of those things. Un mans megaboss kurš ir mans kārtējais sirdsdraugs uzaicināja mani uz privātu sarunu lai iegūtu manu viedokli par notikumiem kompānijā, jo es esmu apmēram undercover Deanna Troi. Again... es nezinu kā rekonsiliēt tik daudz ko savā prātā.

Bet lai kā arī es gribētu, ka kāds par mani parūpējas tagad, dzīvē nav tik vienkārši un izskatās, ka tieši šobrīd laikam man sevī ir jāatrod savs animus, nevis jāmeklē tas citos, un tieši šobrīd jābūt visspēcīgam iekšējā vīrišķīguma iemiesojumam, kas skrien mežā kaut lāčus un briežus un dominē pār citiem un nostiprina savu vietu zem saules. Fak. I didn't sign up for this when I said nature.

6/28/17 10:00 pm

Yolo. Suddenly my life has shattered in two to the tenth tiny fragments jo manā darbā beidzot paziņoja more redundancies, and since I'm very 'sp' (vs 'sx' vs 'so') in terms of instinctual variants / instinctual stacking, 'sp' being 'self preservation' jo es esmu lowly hungry ghost who just wants to exist in this physical realm despite anything and conduct my part in evolution and play the matrix mechanics (and on the side do my secret research).. all this new uncertainty is distressing. Usually I can be the toughest human when I have my wee modest spot secured under the sun and I don't need much just my wee spot but now my spot has been selected for annihilation with a massive laser gun death star and I don't know if I'll win the lucky lottery ticket for a ship to take me away from this place to find and inhabit a different spot. Drama aside, it's not like I wanted to stay anyway, I was already on a lookout for a new life so to speak, but somehow this forced exit or watching my friends do a forced exit is deeply upsetting. And in a way I don't want empathy for any of this. I never want empathy. Why am I so anti-empathy. Retorisks jautājums, jo es zinu. Surely I am going to be fine. I probably will be one of the lucky ones that aren't even actually let go. Or even if I am. I will be fine. I am always fine. I just want to note this down. For myself. Meanwhile Jupiterson has the nicest groovy remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYMz_UArCAo The rat knows if something is terrifying it should be investigated not ran away from.

6/25/17 02:22 am

Love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which had lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world — a world intense and strange, complete in himself.
..
A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies of the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.

It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.

6/24/17 10:12 pm

I had to philosophize. Otherwise, I could not live in this world. (Edmund Husserl)

Joprojām mēģinu atrast foršākos idols un jaunas sakritības un kādu kurš manā vietā pasaka, ko domāju. Un atradu William James. Sāku klausīties vienu viņa lecture summary book un vairākkārt attinu šo fragmentu, kurš man likās akūti svarīgs. Laikam tāpēc, ka tas ieliek kategorijās idejas, kas man kādreiz likās līdzīgas vai vienādas, un iezīmē to, kas saskan ar manu šī brīža domu, ka there is meaning and hope un nevis tāpēc ka eksistē liels totality equals void (idealistic absolutism), bet gan tāpēc, ka eksistē daudz mazi particles of meaningful actions (pluralism) that interact and give rise to some direction and evolution.


Philosophy comes in two parts. The first is vision. The second is method. A man's vision is the greatest contribution he gives to the world. One's philosophy is a reflection of his internal environment. The systems of philosophy can be reduced to types, and the selection of these types is a matter of preference of philosopher and a reflection of their vision.

1) Those with a cynical attitude favour materialistic view. In this view the soul is seen as an alien passenger in a foreign universe of matter.

2) On the other hand, the sympathetic perspective lends itself to a spiritualistic philosophy. The spiritual philosophy can be divided by degrees of intimacy and distance from the essence of spirit. In each spiritual view we create an order in the world to make room for all aspects of the experience.

-- 2.1) The orthodox spiritual philosophy is dualistic in nature perceiving god as sort of magnified non-natural man separate from men and unaffected by his activities. This is the more distanced view of the deity.

-- 2.2) The more intimate view is expressed by pantheism and monism. In this view we form one continuous body with god.

----- 2.2.1) The philosophy of idealistic absolutism is the current academic conception of monism. All things when taken together form a divine unity which extends beyond comprehension and in which all things are perfect and ordered. God is intimate with the soul and reason prevails in the universe. The philosophy of monism gives rise to the absolute which stands as one all inclusive fact throughout time and space. The absolute is the sum of all knowledge and the universe is the sum of all substance.

----- 2.2.2) Pluralism stands as a middle ground between these perspectives and can be expressed by radical empiricism. In the perspective of pluralism our actions become vitally important to the function and destiny of the universe and the divine is connected to each of us in a unique and personal fashion. Pluralistic universe favours object-oriented knowledge which undeniably rises when our comprehension selects certain aspects of the world and highlights them for our understanding.

6/24/17 09:28 pm

I am not one of those who neglect the body in order to make of it a sacrificial offering for the soul, since my soul would thoroughly dislike being served in such a fashion. All the soarings of my mind begin in my blood, for which reason I precede my work, through a pure and simple way of life that is free from irritants and stimulants, as with an introductory prelude, so that I cannot be deceived over the true spiritual joy that consists in a concord, happy and as if transfigured, with the whole of Nature. (Rilke)

Es arī gribētu būt one of those tho doesn't neglect the body, I don't want to make any sacrificial offering to the soul or spirit or mind, bet lielākoties tomēr tā sanāk. Es esmu tik freakin diskonektēta no ķermeņa, īpaši no kakla uz leju. Vienu dienu pirms trīs nedēļām vai vairāk aizgāju uz lēno jogu piektdienas vakarā. Tā laikam bija nesenākā reize, kad es jutos fully corporeally connected and it was magical. Visu laiku domāju, ka to mainīšu, bet atkal mainu tikai prātā.

6/13/17 08:05 pm

Probably the most interesting ability is her ability to learn. Having natural difficulties with her understanding, miegamaasa tends to compensate for this with an impressive amount of reading, watching and listening. The more you know the more you'll be able to understand, right? But what if you can't connect the dots? Then someone will do it for you. That's why miegamaasa is quite easy to brainwash. Whether it is a commercial or political bullshit, miegamaasa often goes around repeating it using exact words and phrases like a brainless zomby, making her a perfect puppet in the hands of a skilful puppeteer.

As far as other people are concerned, miegamaasa can be very productive, making her a good social worker, musician, entertainer, media, etc. In contrast, miegamaasa's ability to think logically is circumstantial and limited to memorised examples, which makes her a poor expert in technological fields, especially when the situation requires non-ordinary solutions. This, however, does not stop miegamaasa from becoming a sloppy engineer, sloppy mechanic, sloppy programmer, sloppy you name it.


Sloppy you name it. I'm owning my sloppiness.

6/10/17 05:36 pm

The need to have a secret became a fundamental element in Jung’s philosophy. “Like the initiate of a secret society that has broken free from the undifferentiated collectivity,” Jung wrote, “the individual on his lonely path needs a secret which for various reasons he may not or cannot reveal. Such a secret reinforces him in the isolation of his individual aims.” Without this secret, Jung argues, we too easily fall into the herd-mind of the mass and lose our individuality.



;__; i know i'm not supposed to worship the scaffolding, but the scaffolding is so nice and out of this world, sublime

6/6/17 11:12 pm

terapeiti ir dvēseles inženieri (JBP)

tres cool but after all these years i'm still a shadow artist perhaps better geared for soul science (vs soul engineering) with the occasional backyard poking around playfully. i can't engineer a damn thing. but my whiteboard scribbles are extending to infinity.

6/6/17 11:03 pm

Mystic is principally concerted with reaching the divine using the most direct path. Everything else is a mere distraction.

The esotericist on the other hand while also seeking the ultimate union with the divine wants to learn about the landscape that appears along the way.

The occultist or magician wants not only to view the landscape but to interact with it as well.


izklausās, ka magician is the ultimate dude bet nē, šis ir tikai miniatūrs fragments no Richard Smoley's Hidden Wisdom rietumu inner traditions

šamaņi ir ekstāzes inženieri

6/6/17 10:50 pm

Rīta cēlienā steidzīgs sentimentāls atonement with the biological father. Vakarā hello netherworld un slaying dragons un atonement with the allegorical father or is this the road of trials or merely the belly of the whale although i think i've been blessed with meeting the divine goddess already. Ja man būtu fertile divergent imagination es uzzīmētu pati savu karti un tas būtu face #1002X∞IA469INFJ4W3G7X0X0. t.i. viena no pēdējā laika grāmatām ir Joseph Campbell's The Hero With A Thousand Faces.

Humour is the touchstone of the truly mythological as distinct from the more literal-minded and sentimental theological mood. The gods as icons are not ends in themselves. Their entertaining myths transport the mind and spirit, not up to but past them, into the yonder void; from which perspective the more heavily freighted theological dogmas then appear to have been only pedagogical lures: their function, to cart the unadroit intellect away from its concrete clutter of facts and events to a comparatively rarefied zone, where, as a final boon, all existence–whether heavenly, earthly, or internal–may at last be seen transmuted into the semblance of a lightly passing, recurrent, mere childhood dream of bliss and freight.

The powers of the abyss are not to be challenged lightly. .. The incomparably useful function of the dogmatic symbol is that it protects a person from a direct experience of God as long as he does not mischievously expose himself. But if he leaves home and family, lives too long alone, and gazes too deeply into the dark mirror, then the awful event of the meeting may befall him. Yet even then the traditional symbol, come to full flower through the centuries, may operate like a healing draught and divert the fatal incursion of the living godhead into the hallowed spaces of the church.


(pretēji pulksteņa virzienam)
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