Recent Entries

4/9/17 04:55 pm


- Is there a special way to avoid pain?

- Yes, there is a way.

- Is it a formula, a procedure, or what?

- It is a way of grabbing onto things. For instance, when I was learning about the devil's weed I was too eager. I grabbed onto things the way kids grab onto candy. The devil's weed is only one of a million paths. Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.

4/1/17 02:44 pm

kāpēc ir jāpārraksta / jāizdzēš superego? lai pietuvinātos savu motivāciju pirmavotam. kas ir mans authentic desire to do anything at all?

4/1/17 02:21 pm

es esmu pilnībā pārrakstījusi savu superego, varbūt pat izdzēsusi to pavisam un tagad staigāju apkārt pa pasauli apmēram tā it kā man būtu tikko nokrāsoti koši zaļi mati un neviens to nepamana this is fun

3/27/17 01:26 am

You must strategically de-clutter your life. You have to pull out of activities. You have to pull out of commitments, hobbies and you have to break relationships and ties with people. Hyperactive lifestyle is complete bullshit. There's no happiness or fulfillment there.

Being over doing
Slow over fast
Quality over quantity

3/21/17 10:02 am

Just because we feel a kind of soul feeling with someone doesn’t mean we should explore it. It doesn’t mean we should jump on in, even if we are hungry for that kind of connection. I used to explore and attach whenever I felt a soulular resonance with someone, but experience taught me to be more careful. Because resonance alone does not tell you if the path is going to be a healthy one, any more than synchronicity tells you which way to walk. Just because there is a strong energetic pull to someone doesn’t mean its a good thing. Just because the universe seems to be bringing you together, doesn't mean they are doing you a favor. Sometimes it is an invitation to expansion, and sometimes it is nothing but trouble. We have to trust our intuition, and we have to practice the art of selective attachment, especially when the synchronicity bell chimes the loudest.

3/20/17 08:51 pm

Es beidzot sapratu, ko nozīmē paradigm shift vai kā domāt, kad ir runa par kaut kādiem paradigm shift, jo es sapratu ko nozime vārds paradigm. Likumsakarīgi šī atklāsme pie manis nolaidās tieši brīdī kad es biju / esmu ieciklējusies visspēcīgākajā intense mini-paradigm bubble jo man ir totāls paradaim lock atklājot Graves / Graves levels of existence / The Emergent, Cyclical, Double-Helix Model of Adult Biopsychosocial Systems Development / The Theory of Levels of Human Existence / Spiral Dymanics stuff. Visu es tagad redzu caur šo specifisko lēcu / modeli / sistēmu / brillēm / teleskopu / caur šo perspektīvu - Graves, jeb kā vertikāli modelēt cilvēku (un sabiedrību) pēc vērtību attīstības un maturity (vs my fave horizontal models such as MBTI (psihes racionālo procesu modelis) vai enneagramma (psihes emocionālo procesu / ego arhitektūras modelis)). Es saprotu, ka parasti vārdu paradigma lieto plašākā jēdzienā, bet manuprāt to var lietot arī par mazāka mēroga domāšanas modeļiem un realitātes interpretācijām.

Graves. Anyone? Anyone at all? Es nemāku izklāstīt teoriju, tāpēc nav vispār vērts censties. Tikai gribēju pateikt.

Btw, Clare Graves bija vīrietis.

3/20/17 08:45 pm

lololol me. for realz. līdz sirsniņām.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH3CAU2A3dY

3/4/17 11:19 am











2/16/17 12:54 am



When the hummingbird
sinks its face
into the trumpet vine
and the funnels
of the blossoms,
and the tongue
leaps out
and throbs,
I am scorched
to realize once again
how many small, available things
are in the world
..
and
..
here I am
spending my time,
as the saying goes,
watching until the watching turns into feeling
so that I feel I am myself
a small bird
with a terrible hunger
with a thin beak probing and dipping
and a heart that races so fast
it is only a heartbeat ahead of breaking
and I am the hunger and the assuagement
and also I am the leaves and the blossoms,
and, like them, I am full of delight and shaking

11/1/16 11:38 am

Veca reakcija jaunās vēsmās. Vienīgais veids, kā dīlot, kad kaut kas šausmīgs notiek, ir nevis par to runāt, bet nocietināties, uzcelt sienu ap sevi un domāt, ka nothing can get to me. True story. Runāšana padara visu vēl smagāku. Man nevienu nevajag. Pasaule nav saderīga ar mani. Tā nav mana vaina. Nothing can get to me. Es tikai turpinu darīt kaut kādas savas lietiņas ar vēl lielāku atdevi, ar parasto enerģiju plus visu to psihes ķīseli kas pārtransformējas degvielā. Welcome to the machine. Alas we’re all numbers.

*unsent*

10/21/16 10:27 am

Tik refreshing un metahuman ir sevi neienīst. Tik daudz brīvas vietas apziņas dobumos, kas piepildās un pielīst ar sīkiem pilieniem ar visu ko interesantu no mana personīgā pieredzes un izziņas mākoņa, kas ir intersection of life and this vast bubbling universe. When you stop hating there's all this extra capacity to actually reach out for your better nature, connect with other natures and try to leave a positive footprint.

10/8/16 09:17 pm

mums ar rr ir tik forša kopdzīve. fakts.

10/2/16 11:01 pm

Izgāju piektdien ārā un atkal pārliecinājos, ka we cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain. Going out leaves me cold. Going in keeps me warm. Iekārtoju istabu vairāk kā savu sanctuary.

9/4/16 12:27 pm

Deliciously morbid notes.

We are entirely alone in our machinations. Our failures echo and our wins keep the void at bay. Our precious deep connections are habits of file exchange, and the files ultimately have to mean something more than the act of passing them back and forth. If not? Then kill the soul, deny the self, be drunk, eat well, (es teiktu drīzāk lay low and work the system), cleave to those near, use attention like a weapon against the screaming of your soul. But don’t leave it up and walking about. Make sure it stays dead. Because once we’ve dispelled our sturdier illusions, we must find real answer or kill our own soul. If we aren’t thorough in killing it, it will keep knowing what we don’t want it to know.

/ Host Eric
/ Talking with Famous People

9/2/16 12:33 pm

Tagad darbā es jūtos tā kā toreiz vidusskolā matemātikas analīzes stundās, kur es biju perfektais skolēns, kurš māk atrisināt katru problēmu, kas ir mācību vielā paredzēts apgūt un kurš var uzrakstīt eksāmenu uz desmit, un izpatikt skolotājiem un vecākiem, bet toreiz es nesapratu, cik bezjēdzīgi tas viss ir. Tagad gan es esmu advancējusies un saprotu, cik bezjēdzīgs ir šis smadzeņu trenniņš, kurš man atļauj kaut ko programmēt un izdomāt kaut kādus loģiskus, glītus (beautiful design sends me to heaven) risinājumus. Bezjēdzīgs - jo būtībā all this amounts to nothing. Neviens neko labu no tā negūst, un manas smadzenes degradējas, jo laiks ir dārgs, bet es to tērēju praktizējoties šajās degradējošajās prasmēs, kuras ir limitētas un attīsta tikai kaut kādu miniatūru smadzeņu un apziņas daļiņu. Tagad, kad esmu šo daļiņu (nedaudz, bet man pietiekami) māsterojusi, mani vairāk tās vingrināšana nedod nekādu gandarījumu un uz katra soļa ikdienā tikai redzu, cik ļoti man vajag nodarboties ar kaut ko citu, kas attīstīs atlikušo 90% smadzeņu potenciālu. Es nemāku rakstīt un izteikties par to, kas man svarīgs un par to, ko es domāju, es nemāku radoši izpausties, es nemāku neko, kas saistās ar sociālajām zinātnēm. Es gribu tagad jaunu life-conversion degree. Psiholoģijā un filosofijā. Literatūrā, mākslā, ētikā, socioloģijā, teoloģijā, filoloģijā utt.

8/23/16 09:08 am

Ja es varētu iemācīties būt viena. Un izdarīt visu, kas jāizdara un nevienu netraucēt. Es lielākoties, šķiet, tikai citus traucēju un radu nevajadzīgus viļņus, jo man gribas ienirt līdz pašam dziļumam vienmēr, neatkarīgi no tā, vai kaut kas ir labi / slikti, pareizi / nepareizi, morāli / amorāli. Nesen redzēju foršāko video par INFJ konfliktu starp viņa primāro funkciju Ni - introverted intuition, kas vēlas ienirt dziļumā un ir gatavs disregārdot politkorektumu, un Fe - extraverted feeling, kas vēlas harmoniju un tāpēc turas virspusēji un nogludina vilnīšus.

8/22/16 08:40 pm

OK. Tagad man Alain de Botton ir apnicis. Viņš visu laiku saka vienu un to pašu.

8/19/16 11:48 pm

Viens no iemesliem, kāpēc es nekad negribētu bērnus, ir bailes par to, ka tie būs kaut kādā veidā disabled, un es nezināšu, ko darīt un kā izturēties, un izturēšos samāksloti viegli par to. Runāt par disabilities ir grūti, bet šis raksts likās kā viegla, progresīva un dabiska lasāmviela.

Disability identity

Talking about disability can be a fraught experience. The vocabulary of this status is highly charged, and for even the most well-meaning person, a conversation can feel like stepping into a maze of courtesy, correctness and possible offense. ... The old way of talking about disability as a curse, tragedy, misfortune or individual failing is no longer appropriate, but we are unsure about what more progressive, more polite, language to use.

“I don’t think of you as disabled” … This impulse to rescue people with disabilities from a discredited identity, while usually well meaning, is decidedly at odds with the various pride movements we’ve come to know in recent decades.


Why haven’t disability pride movements gained any traction?

One answer is that we have a much clearer collective notion of what it means to be a woman or an African-American, gay or transgender person than we do of what it means to be disabled. ... Most don’t conceptualize disabled people as having a shared social identity and a political status. They merely seem to be people to whom something unfortunate has happened, for whom something has gone terribly wrong. The one thing most people do know about being disabled is that they don’t want to be that.

Bet fakts, ka šādi raksti ar vien biežāk parādās (vismaz zem mana radara), liek domāt, ka tomēr ir movement un ir traction un ir acceleration.

8/19/16 11:15 am

4w3s are marked by multiple dichotomies due to types 3 and 4 being opposites in so many ways: inferior/superior, being/becoming, self-conscious/confident, putting themselves down/glorifying themselves, withdrawn/assertive, emotional/flatlined, reactive/cool-headed, mired in the past/focused on moving forward, awkward/poised, fragile/resilient, easily discouraged/do whatever it takes, rejecting the game/conquering the game. While they will put up countershame smokescreens to get your attention and see if you are perceptive enough to see and accept the real them underneath, they may seem distant to even close ones to keep up appearances. Ideally they’d have a rich emotional life without having the ugliest parts of themselves exposed.

Underneath a 4w3′s more fluid identity their 4ness gives them an awareness of something truer and deeper within themselves that roots everything. Their 3 wing precludes people from seeing fully what is inside them including even themselves. However they know their personal awareness anchor is there no matter where their changeability takes them. They know on a deeper level their fluctuations stem back to a single consistent essence. Still, they wonder if they are fooling themselves. Despite their consistent underlying essence they lead an inconsistent life and wonder if they are being true to themselves. They try to balance selling themselves out in the real world with hanging out amongst the “keeping it real” crowd. They are more likely to go the distance in their career due to their three wing before their fourness causes them to sabotage themselves.

8/18/16 10:21 pm

Meet my new wizard. Joanna.
Powered by Sviesta Ciba