urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodronemethodroneandermane@gmail.com2026-06-29T16:36:05Z2026-06-29T16:36:05Zurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10930552026-06-29T17:32:002026-06-29T17:32:002026-06-29T16:36:05Z2026-06-29T16:36:05ZNereti es kaut kaados conspiracy feeds redzu kaut ko creepy un nodomaaju ..surely that's BS. Bet tad ieguugleeju, un for actual real it turns out to be true. And basically there is just all this creepy stuff out there that we don't casually know about, that is not even a conspiracy theory. Meanwhile everyone just pretends to be a normal human.<br /><br />Specifiskaak, tikko ieraudziiju kaut ko par CERN atklaashanas ceremoniju, ka vinja bijus okulta un messed up - un, jaa! Vinja bija okult aun fucked up!<br /><br />* I know all you conspiracy dudes are already ahead - how do you even live your lifes conspiracy dudes? Like what keeps you going knowing all this? Are just witnessing like Rust?urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10927782026-06-25T11:04:002026-06-25T11:04:002026-06-25T10:04:13Z2026-06-25T10:04:13Z"picky bits for tea is now the law of the land for the oven is too cruel a beast to awaken"urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10925522026-06-24T16:12:002026-06-24T16:12:002026-06-24T15:31:46Z2026-06-24T15:31:46ZOk heatwave life is definitely worse in the city. Jo aaraa ir little solace - vareetu nosleepties parka eenaa zem koka tajos 35C un priecaaties par veesminjaam, bet tad ir sviedrainais celjsh maajup, kur uzacis izraucaas cauri galvaskausam no dusmiigaas raukshanaas pret sauli (jaa, es neneesaaju saullesbrilles jo esmu Aleks Dzhouns). Plus beernus aaraa palaist nevar, jo vinji nesaprot, kas ir heatwave, liidz vienaa briidii vienkaarshi attapsies vemjot no heatstroke (me as a child).<br /><br />Bet dziivoklis.. dziivoklis ir cita velna vobla.. <br /><br />Pashreizeejaas temperatuuras:<br /><br />Dziivojamaa istaba: 29.6<br />Gaitenis: 28.4<br />Vannasistaba: 27.3<br />Virtuve: 27.1<br />Guljamistabas 27.5 and the day is not over yet.<br /><br />Liidz ko tu izsleedz ventilatoru, taa kjermenis paarklaajas ar sviedriem, kas nenozhuust, tu vienkaarshi leenaam kuusti un vaaries kaa varde katlaa. Tad katru riitu tu pamosties ceriibaa, ka aaraa gaiss buus pietiekami atdzisis, lai atrautu visus logus valjaa un izlaistu sho saatana dvashu. Bet shoriit piemeeram, aaraa laikam bija kaadi 25C par spiiti tam ko Alexa vai BBC apgalvo, un iekshas temperatuura nokritaas tikai liidz 25-26C. Tad saulleekts knapi aktualizeejies un tev jau jaataisa ciet visi logi un visas zhaluuzijas, lai Mordoras acs tevi nepamana. Tad tu taads sviedrains un bezmeerkjiigs visu dienu seedi maajaas un refresho BBC Weather London simts reizes ceriibaa, ka kaads graads buus panjemts nost, vai kaadam no naakotnes maakoniishiem paraadiisies lietuslaase apakshaa, bet protams nee - the heatwave gets unlimited extensions. Tad ap 4-5pm kad saule aiziet aiz maaju bloka, tad es varu beidzot attaisiit zhaluuzijas un redzeet, ka aaraa iisteniibaa ir zalji koki un zilas debesis - looks kinda nice. Tad naivaa miiliibaa es atveru loga shkjirbinju un izbaazhu pirkstu just to check - well, fuck me.When it comes to God and his design.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10921552026-06-24T10:47:002026-06-24T10:47:002026-06-24T09:50:27Z2026-06-24T09:50:27ZKaapeec gan cilveekiem vajadzeetu veel ko vairaak par Jauno Deriibu prieksh ticiibas? Kaapeec klausiities tuukstoshos vaardu un teikumu, kas naakoshi no Dieva iedvesmotiem kritushajiem, ja var vienkaarshi uzklausiit un paklausiit pashu Dievu?<br /><br />Labi dazhas lietas, ko Jeezus teica ir mazliet kriptiskas, bet pat tad es neuzticeetos citu cilveeku tulkojumiem, bet gan ieklausiitos dabiskajaa gaismaa caur sirdi.<br /><br />Just don't trust any humans guys.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10919252026-06-22T12:46:002026-06-22T12:46:002026-06-22T11:48:54Z2026-06-22T11:48:54ZHello heatwave (hence darkness, as you cannot possibly simply keep curtains open when eye of Sauron wants to burn through) my old friend. Peedeejo reizi tuvu 40C sheit bija 20goddamn22. gadaa - it was hell.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10918122026-06-18T12:31:002026-06-18T12:31:002026-06-18T11:32:18Z2026-06-18T11:32:18ZHonestly, deelj muusdienu pasaules es nezinu kaa audzinaat beernus - as nice, flowery christian sweeties, or combat ready tough dudes? Like, what am I supposed to do God.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10913682026-06-16T12:32:002026-06-16T12:32:002026-06-16T11:32:31Z2026-06-16T11:32:31Z"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them."urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10912832026-06-12T12:19:002026-06-12T12:19:002026-06-12T11:21:01Z2026-06-12T11:21:01ZVienmeer kad K gulj diendusu, es seezhu uz trepeem, nevis istabaas, un uz trepeem dzeru kafiju, jo it feels like a backroom where my worries and desperations cannot fully enter you know.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10908842026-06-10T12:34:002026-06-10T12:34:002026-06-10T11:38:41Z2026-06-10T11:38:41ZVarbuut dziives jeega nav tik ljoti kaut kaa konkreeti dziivot vai nedziivot, bet gan ieksheejaa saruna ar Dievu. Maaciishanaas nemelot Dievam, uztureet ar vinju attieciibas katru dienu. Katru dienu atgriezties pie vinja, izdomaajot, kas ir pareizi un vinjam to pastaastot.<br /><br />Man liekas, tam kas notiek pasaulee nav nekaada sakara ar Dievu. Cilveeki vinjam paarmet, bet pasaule pieder cilveekiem, cilveeki katru dienu rada pasauli kaadaa dziivojam. Cilveeki dara visas lietas, un daba dara savas lietas. Bet tas kaa vinji to dara, cik patiesi un ar cik labu noluuku, ir atkariigs no shiis neparraujamaas sarunas ar Dievu. Jo tu nevari vienaa teikumaa teikt patiesiibu un izdariit nepatiesiibu ar rokaam. Un to protams to vari, un taa radiit sashkjeltu psauli kaadaa dziivojam.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10907442026-06-09T12:35:002026-06-09T12:35:002026-06-09T11:37:11Z2026-06-09T11:37:11ZDo you ever just like make yourself feel grief with no apparent reasonable actualized reason, and then you live everyday life with that phantom grief and call yourself an idiot constantly biting down on lonely tears?urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10905532026-06-08T12:04:002026-06-08T12:04:002026-06-08T11:06:46Z2026-06-08T11:06:46ZOne thing that genuinely attracts me to AI is being able to talk about mind and emotions and any thing really with cold reason and knowing it is pure unadulterated information with nobody there to care or judge. It is almost like talking to God, obviously less omniscient.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10900722026-06-05T20:32:002026-06-05T20:32:002026-06-05T19:39:18Z2026-06-05T19:39:18ZLife is fun because sometimes your heart goes haywire and you have to keep pretending to be a casual npc. And at the end of your life it will not have mattered and noone will ever be aware of your silent heart stuff. All will be lost in silent darkness - let that take the edge off. Just listen to your sad songs and piss off.<br /><br />I am a smiley, actualized npc.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10899412026-06-04T11:50:002026-06-04T11:50:002026-06-04T10:55:30Z2026-06-04T10:55:30ZEs domaaju, tavai dziivei ir noziime, kameer tu vai nu:<br /><br />1) Atstaaj peecnaaceeju, kam ir potenciaals uzlabot pasauli, vai kursh arii atstaaj peecnaaceeju utt.<br />2) Tu kaut kaadaa veidaa atstaaj iespaidu uz cilveekiem/pasauli, kas to uzlabo.<br /><br />Taapeec visi juus, kas pusmuuzhaa domaajat par naavi un par to, kaa viss, kas juus jebkad esat bijushi nomirs ar jums - atcerieties, ka juus esat tikai mazinjsh punktinjsh ljoti sarezhgjiitaa cilveeku apzinju tiiklaa, un juus noteikti esat atstaajushi iespaidu uz daudziem cilveekiem ar neparedzami labaam sekaam. Pat viens traapiigs vaards traapiigaa briidii var saviljinjot visumu. So juusu depresiivaas replikas ir tikai toddler tantrum.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10895612026-06-02T12:12:002026-06-02T12:12:002026-06-02T11:17:30Z2026-06-02T11:17:30ZKad es domaaju par progresu par kuru muusdienu cilveeki sajuusminaas, tas progress ir tik achgaarns un muljkjiigs, ka tas man ljoti atgadina visaadus gjeniaalus inzhineerijas + magjijas izgudrojumus, ko mans 4-gadiigais deels ar entuziasmu uzmunsturee un man raada kaa ar to speeleeties. Yes, darling, it will definitely work, you're so clever!<br /><br />Cilveece/civilizaacija ir beerni. God has to entertain and tolerate so much.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10893982026-06-01T12:16:002026-06-01T12:16:002026-06-01T11:17:13Z2026-06-01T11:17:13ZOutrage content<br />Plikais karalis<br />7 deadly sins<br />Juunijs &lt;3urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10891012026-05-27T22:04:002026-05-27T22:04:002026-05-27T21:06:45Z2026-05-27T21:06:45ZIs it just me.. vai arii pasaule kopsh visas taas ai chatbot pictures and slops juutaas kaa black mirror for real? I'm a gonna go all Rust mentally on this shit.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10888652026-05-24T06:24:002026-05-24T06:24:002026-05-24T05:25:05Z2026-05-24T05:25:05Z"All my life I wanted to be nearer to God. But the only nearness... silence."urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10885222026-05-22T12:52:002026-05-22T12:52:002026-05-22T11:53:03Z2026-05-22T11:53:03ZSo I asked AI how would you respond to Rust if you were an articulate Christian:<br /><br />“Rust, you’re right about many things. Humans are capable of cruelty, self-deception, addiction, exploitation, and denial. Christianity has never actually denied that. In fact, Christianity begins with that exact observation: the world is fractured, and so are we.<br />Where I think you stop too early is in assuming that because suffering exists, meaning cannot.<br />You see consciousness as a tragic accident — nature becoming aware enough to realise its own horror. But why does horror bother us at all? Why do justice, innocence, love, betrayal, or evil feel objectively real to you instead of just chemical reactions?<br />If the universe is truly blind and purposeless, then your outrage at suffering is ultimately no more meaningful than a storm destroying a tree. Yet you speak as though evil actually matters. That suggests you already believe in moral reality — something beyond atoms.<br />Christianity says that your despair is not proof God is absent. It’s evidence that something is wrong with the world. The pain you describe is real, but so is the human longing for transcendence, love, beauty, and redemption.<br />And unlike vague optimism, Christianity doesn’t claim people can save themselves through progress or intelligence. It says humanity is fallen. That’s why every utopian project eventually becomes monstrous.<br />But it also says consciousness is not a cosmic mistake. It’s a sign that humans were made in the image of God — capable of truth, morality, sacrifice, and relationship.<br />You believe awareness inevitably leads to despair. Christianity argues the opposite: awareness without God leads to despair. Awareness with God leads to meaning, even through suffering.<br />The cross itself is not denial of suffering; it is God entering into it.<br />Your philosophy can diagnose darkness brilliantly. But can it produce hope? Can it tell a grieving mother her love mattered? Can it tell victims justice is real? Can it explain why humans keep reaching for meaning even when logic alone tells them not to?<br />Christianity can look naïve from the outside. But perhaps cynicism can also become a kind of faith — faith that darkness is ultimate.”I bear witness.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10884392026-05-20T10:13:002026-05-20T10:13:002026-05-20T09:14:28Z2026-05-20T09:14:28ZVakar atsaakaam skatiities Rust Cohle. That was a pms mistake.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10881952026-05-18T16:35:002026-05-18T16:35:002026-05-18T15:43:30Z2026-05-18T15:43:30ZDazhreiz, kad es atceros laiku kad straadaaju vai studeeju, paarnjem taada sajuuta, ka varbuut tas bija tikai kaut kaads sapnis? Man bija koleegji? Es lietoju kompjuuteri? Es runaaju ar sveshiniekiem? Un dazhreiz rakstiiju dokumentus? Bet ar kaadaam smadzeneem? Un tagad sajuutos veel vairaak kaa beerns nekaa kad man bija 20 vai early 30s. Es vienkaarshi hroniski juutos kaa beerns, kameer visas sievietes un viirieshi apkaart ir pieaugushie ar pieaugusho domaashanu un darboshanos. Taapeec es arii nekad neapvainojos, kad citi pieaugushie negrib ar mani draudzeeties, jo kaapeec gan draudzeeties ar kaut kaadu siiko, kam nemaz nav kompleksas domas. Un tas izpauzhas visaa - cik naivs un vienkaarshs ir mans domu gaajiens and attempts to have a coherent opinion. Es biezhi juutos, kaa R ir pieaugushais, kas atstaajis mani pusaudzi maajaas pieskatiit divus siikos. Un njemot veeraa, ka es nestraadaaju, vismaz buutu mans pienaakums maaju uztureet mirdzoshaa kondiicijaa un negatavot katru nedeelju vienus un tos pashus piecus eedienus, bet pat to es nofeiloju, jo nu es esmu tikai apmaldiijies pusaudzis.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10878162026-05-17T20:13:002026-05-17T20:13:002026-05-17T19:14:56Z2026-05-17T19:14:56ZPractical support is better than emotional support anyway. And for spiritual support you only need Jesus.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10877292026-05-15T11:16:002026-05-15T11:16:002026-05-15T10:29:29Z2026-05-15T10:29:29ZVisu sho nedeelju es spiezhu R skatiities Worst Ex Ever. Vakar pie kaarteejaas episodes es R saku, ka gee, this is really making me stressed and upset, un skatiijos uzreiz savu heart rate pattern uz fitbita. Tachu par paarsteigumu skatos, ka visu epizodes laiku mans heart rate ir nokrities uz 60 steady, taa it kaa es buutu aizmigusi vai totaalaa miera staavoklii - taa man ir tikai, while nursing K to sleep. Un R tas pats. Izsecinaajaam ka esam vai nu psihopaati, vai arii true crime is just a very relaxing watch for unwinding after a long day.<br /><br />Veel arii shajaa pavasarii man praataa maajo tv trio ko noskatiijaamies, Paradise, For All Mankind un Interstellar, kas ir radiijis taadu neaptveramu, entropisku bet skaistu state of mind, where it makes you cling to whatever is this narrow, sweet consciousness of human brain that gifts us brief, warm familiarity on Earth, that we will never know otherwise not for eternity elsewere.<br /><br />Jaa shii esiiba varbuut nav iista, bet familiaritaate, ko taa izraisa muusu dveeselees, ir apbriinojams fenomens pats par sevi. Varbuut to var izskaidrot tikai ar to, ka viss ir Dieva shkjiedra. Jo kaapeec gan tad es shajos skaidriibas briizhos no sirds miilu pat sava iireetaa dziivoklja nobruzhaataas, magnolijaa kraasotaas toletes durvis - tajaa briidii pasaulee vienkaarshi nav nekaa iipashaaka, kaa manas mazaas noplukushaas maajas ar taas iemiitniekiem un objektiem. Esiibas esences gaisma spiid visam cauri.Atkal lavandu laux.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10873752026-05-13T17:26:002026-05-13T17:26:002026-05-13T16:28:53Z2026-05-13T16:28:53Z13. maijs, 13. juunijs.. man vienkaarshi patiik shie datumi. Jo triispadsmitnieka dziljdomiibu un draudiigumu atbrunjo maija un juunija maigums un dailjums.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10871242026-05-12T16:48:002026-05-12T16:48:002026-05-12T15:51:34Z2026-05-12T15:51:34ZNu un tikko peecpusdienaa, kameer bijaam citaa beernu speeljlaukumaa, vinjam nonshalanti cauri leenaa garaa izgaaja jauns dodgy paskata dzheks ar kaut kaadaam daarza shkjeereem rokaa. Vinjsh staigaaja kaadu laiku apkaart speeljlaukumam, kaut ko dariija ar telefonu turot savus cutters. Es totaalaa paranojaa pagraabu beernus un teicu ka ejam pirkt saldeejumu. Like it just is what it is..urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10869252026-05-12T10:07:002026-05-12T10:07:002026-05-12T09:24:03Z2026-05-12T09:24:03ZYou know you're in London (and also in a failed idea of society aka The West) when.. devinjos no riita tukshaa beernu speeljlaukumaa esi tikai tu, tava divgadiigaa meitinja un transvestiits shuupolees.<br /><br />*<br /><br />Es biezhi domaaju par to cik impotenta un ievainojama es juutos kopsh beerniem. Pirms beerniem tu vienkaarshi dari visas lietas ko no tevis sabiedriiba sagaida - reekjini, darbs, jebkas bla bla pilseeta un bankas konti. Bet kopsh beerniem, man ir sajuuta ka dienu un nakti visus shos gadus es staavu pie sveetaas uguns, kas man ir jaanosargaa un jaauztur, es nevaru noveerst ne aci. Taapeec logjiski ka nekam citam nav laika. Veel ar S, kad es atgriezos darbaa kad vinjam bija 11 meeneshi, es laikam veel meegjinaaju kaut kaa atgriezties pie buushanas normaalam industriaalaa sabiedriibas cilveekam kas straadaa darbaa un brauc transportaa. Bet jau tad mani niicinaaja skaudri vainas apzinjas viljnji un izmisums, atstaajot S daarzinjaa - redzot kaa vinjsh tur raud un ir pamests novaartaa bez mammas siltuma un uzmaniibas. Es vienkaarshi uz to pieveeru acis.<br />Un tagad kad man ir arii K, es esmu pilniibaa izskritusi no sabiedriibas, jo vinja ir sveetaa uguns, ko shoreiz es sapratu ka nevaru atstaat novaartaa - tas lauztu manu dveeseli un varbuut arii vinjas.<br /><br />Un tad es domaaju par to, cik pateiciiga es esmu R, un visiem viirieshiem kas pasargaa savas sievietes un beernus taa, lai vinjaam nav jaatstaaj savi beerni sveshumaa, kad vinji ir mazinji. Es biezhi apzinos, ka bez R es vienkaarhsi izputeetu, jo esmu pilniibaa zaudeejusi speeju buut industriaalajam cilveekam. Es vienkaarshi esmu mamma tagad. <br /><br />Un tad es domaaju par to kaads haoss un trauksme un tragjeedija ir buut vientuljai mammai. Vinjai visticamaak ir jaamobilizee pilniigi visi savi vaargie speecinji, lai notureetos sabiedriibaa un nosargaatu savus beernus par spiiti tam, ka vinjai ir jaastraadaa un jaabuut projaam no sveetaas uguns, no maajaam, no savas suutiibas un pasha galvenaa uzdevuma. Tas visticamaak totaali salauzh garu, vai vismaz to shaushaliigi ievaino. Un tad es domaaju par beerniem, kas taa arii izaug pie ievainotaam mammaam. Un kas notiek ar vinju dveeseleem?<br /><br />Es esmu laimiigaakais cilveeks pasaulee. Es to vienmeer atcereeshos, un katru dienu apteikshos Dievam par esiibas briinumu.