urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodronemethodroneandermane@gmail.com2026-06-08T11:06:46Z2026-06-08T11:06:46Zurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10905532026-06-08T12:04:002026-06-08T12:04:002026-06-08T11:06:46Z2026-06-08T11:06:46ZOne thing that genuinely attracts me to AI is being able to talk about mind and emotions and any thing really with cold reason and knowing it is pure unadulterated information with nobody there to care or judge. It is almost like talking to God, obviously less omniscient.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10900722026-06-05T20:32:002026-06-05T20:32:002026-06-05T19:39:18Z2026-06-05T19:39:18ZLife is fun because sometimes your heart goes haywire and you have to keep pretending to be a casual npc. And at the end of your life it will not have mattered and noone will ever be aware of your silent heart stuff. All will be lost in silent darkness - let that take the edge off. Just listen to your sad songs and piss off.<br /><br />I am a smiley, actualized npc.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10899412026-06-04T11:50:002026-06-04T11:50:002026-06-04T10:55:30Z2026-06-04T10:55:30ZEs domaaju, tavai dziivei ir noziime, kameer tu vai nu:<br /><br />1) Atstaaj peecnaaceeju, kam ir potenciaals uzlabot pasauli, vai kursh arii atstaaj peecnaaceeju utt.<br />2) Tu kaut kaadaa veidaa atstaaj iespaidu uz cilveekiem/pasauli, kas to uzlabo.<br /><br />Taapeec visi juus, kas pusmuuzhaa domaajat par naavi un par to, kaa viss, kas juus jebkad esat bijushi nomirs ar jums - atcerieties, ka juus esat tikai mazinjsh punktinjsh ljoti sarezhgjiitaa cilveeku apzinju tiiklaa, un juus noteikti esat atstaajushi iespaidu uz daudziem cilveekiem ar neparedzami labaam sekaam. Pat viens traapiigs vaards traapiigaa briidii var saviljinjot visumu. So juusu depresiivaas replikas ir tikai toddler tantrum.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10895612026-06-02T12:12:002026-06-02T12:12:002026-06-02T11:17:30Z2026-06-02T11:17:30ZKad es domaaju par progresu par kuru muusdienu cilveeki sajuusminaas, tas progress ir tik achgaarns un muljkjiigs, ka tas man ljoti atgadina visaadus gjeniaalus inzhineerijas + magjijas izgudrojumus, ko mans 4-gadiigais deels ar entuziasmu uzmunsturee un man raada kaa ar to speeleeties. Yes, darling, it will definitely work, you're so clever!<br /><br />Cilveece/civilizaacija ir beerni. God has to entertain and tolerate so much.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10893982026-06-01T12:16:002026-06-01T12:16:002026-06-01T11:17:13Z2026-06-01T11:17:13ZOutrage content<br />Plikais karalis<br />7 deadly sins<br />Juunijs &lt;3urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10891012026-05-27T22:04:002026-05-27T22:04:002026-05-27T21:06:45Z2026-05-27T21:06:45ZIs it just me.. vai arii pasaule kopsh visas taas ai chatbot pictures and slops juutaas kaa black mirror for real? I'm a gonna go all Rust mentally on this shit.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10888652026-05-24T06:24:002026-05-24T06:24:002026-05-24T05:25:05Z2026-05-24T05:25:05Z"All my life I wanted to be nearer to God. But the only nearness... silence."urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10885222026-05-22T12:52:002026-05-22T12:52:002026-05-22T11:53:03Z2026-05-22T11:53:03ZSo I asked AI how would you respond to Rust if you were an articulate Christian:<br /><br />“Rust, you’re right about many things. Humans are capable of cruelty, self-deception, addiction, exploitation, and denial. Christianity has never actually denied that. In fact, Christianity begins with that exact observation: the world is fractured, and so are we.<br />Where I think you stop too early is in assuming that because suffering exists, meaning cannot.<br />You see consciousness as a tragic accident — nature becoming aware enough to realise its own horror. But why does horror bother us at all? Why do justice, innocence, love, betrayal, or evil feel objectively real to you instead of just chemical reactions?<br />If the universe is truly blind and purposeless, then your outrage at suffering is ultimately no more meaningful than a storm destroying a tree. Yet you speak as though evil actually matters. That suggests you already believe in moral reality — something beyond atoms.<br />Christianity says that your despair is not proof God is absent. It’s evidence that something is wrong with the world. The pain you describe is real, but so is the human longing for transcendence, love, beauty, and redemption.<br />And unlike vague optimism, Christianity doesn’t claim people can save themselves through progress or intelligence. It says humanity is fallen. That’s why every utopian project eventually becomes monstrous.<br />But it also says consciousness is not a cosmic mistake. It’s a sign that humans were made in the image of God — capable of truth, morality, sacrifice, and relationship.<br />You believe awareness inevitably leads to despair. Christianity argues the opposite: awareness without God leads to despair. Awareness with God leads to meaning, even through suffering.<br />The cross itself is not denial of suffering; it is God entering into it.<br />Your philosophy can diagnose darkness brilliantly. But can it produce hope? Can it tell a grieving mother her love mattered? Can it tell victims justice is real? Can it explain why humans keep reaching for meaning even when logic alone tells them not to?<br />Christianity can look naïve from the outside. But perhaps cynicism can also become a kind of faith — faith that darkness is ultimate.”I bear witness.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10884392026-05-20T10:13:002026-05-20T10:13:002026-05-20T09:14:28Z2026-05-20T09:14:28ZVakar atsaakaam skatiities Rust Cohle. That was a pms mistake.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10881952026-05-18T16:35:002026-05-18T16:35:002026-05-18T15:43:30Z2026-05-18T15:43:30ZDazhreiz, kad es atceros laiku kad straadaaju vai studeeju, paarnjem taada sajuuta, ka varbuut tas bija tikai kaut kaads sapnis? Man bija koleegji? Es lietoju kompjuuteri? Es runaaju ar sveshiniekiem? Un dazhreiz rakstiiju dokumentus? Bet ar kaadaam smadzeneem? Un tagad sajuutos veel vairaak kaa beerns nekaa kad man bija 20 vai early 30s. Es vienkaarshi hroniski juutos kaa beerns, kameer visas sievietes un viirieshi apkaart ir pieaugushie ar pieaugusho domaashanu un darboshanos. Taapeec es arii nekad neapvainojos, kad citi pieaugushie negrib ar mani draudzeeties, jo kaapeec gan draudzeeties ar kaut kaadu siiko, kam nemaz nav kompleksas domas. Un tas izpauzhas visaa - cik naivs un vienkaarshs ir mans domu gaajiens and attempts to have a coherent opinion. Es biezhi juutos, kaa R ir pieaugushais, kas atstaajis mani pusaudzi maajaas pieskatiit divus siikos. Un njemot veeraa, ka es nestraadaaju, vismaz buutu mans pienaakums maaju uztureet mirdzoshaa kondiicijaa un negatavot katru nedeelju vienus un tos pashus piecus eedienus, bet pat to es nofeiloju, jo nu es esmu tikai apmaldiijies pusaudzis.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10878162026-05-17T20:13:002026-05-17T20:13:002026-05-17T19:14:56Z2026-05-17T19:14:56ZPractical support is better than emotional support anyway. And for spiritual support you only need Jesus.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10877292026-05-15T11:16:002026-05-15T11:16:002026-05-15T10:29:29Z2026-05-15T10:29:29ZVisu sho nedeelju es spiezhu R skatiities Worst Ex Ever. Vakar pie kaarteejaas episodes es R saku, ka gee, this is really making me stressed and upset, un skatiijos uzreiz savu heart rate pattern uz fitbita. Tachu par paarsteigumu skatos, ka visu epizodes laiku mans heart rate ir nokrities uz 60 steady, taa it kaa es buutu aizmigusi vai totaalaa miera staavoklii - taa man ir tikai, while nursing K to sleep. Un R tas pats. Izsecinaajaam ka esam vai nu psihopaati, vai arii true crime is just a very relaxing watch for unwinding after a long day.<br /><br />Veel arii shajaa pavasarii man praataa maajo tv trio ko noskatiijaamies, Paradise, For All Mankind un Interstellar, kas ir radiijis taadu neaptveramu, entropisku bet skaistu state of mind, where it makes you cling to whatever is this narrow, sweet consciousness of human brain that gifts us brief, warm familiarity on Earth, that we will never know otherwise not for eternity elsewere.<br /><br />Jaa shii esiiba varbuut nav iista, bet familiaritaate, ko taa izraisa muusu dveeselees, ir apbriinojams fenomens pats par sevi. Varbuut to var izskaidrot tikai ar to, ka viss ir Dieva shkjiedra. Jo kaapeec gan tad es shajos skaidriibas briizhos no sirds miilu pat sava iireetaa dziivoklja nobruzhaataas, magnolijaa kraasotaas toletes durvis - tajaa briidii pasaulee vienkaarshi nav nekaa iipashaaka, kaa manas mazaas noplukushaas maajas ar taas iemiitniekiem un objektiem. Esiibas esences gaisma spiid visam cauri.Atkal lavandu laux.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10873752026-05-13T17:26:002026-05-13T17:26:002026-05-13T16:28:53Z2026-05-13T16:28:53Z13. maijs, 13. juunijs.. man vienkaarshi patiik shie datumi. Jo triispadsmitnieka dziljdomiibu un draudiigumu atbrunjo maija un juunija maigums un dailjums.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10871242026-05-12T16:48:002026-05-12T16:48:002026-05-12T15:51:34Z2026-05-12T15:51:34ZNu un tikko peecpusdienaa, kameer bijaam citaa beernu speeljlaukumaa, vinjam nonshalanti cauri leenaa garaa izgaaja jauns dodgy paskata dzheks ar kaut kaadaam daarza shkjeereem rokaa. Vinjsh staigaaja kaadu laiku apkaart speeljlaukumam, kaut ko dariija ar telefonu turot savus cutters. Es totaalaa paranojaa pagraabu beernus un teicu ka ejam pirkt saldeejumu. Like it just is what it is..urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10869252026-05-12T10:07:002026-05-12T10:07:002026-05-12T09:24:03Z2026-05-12T09:24:03ZYou know you're in London (and also in a failed idea of society aka The West) when.. devinjos no riita tukshaa beernu speeljlaukumaa esi tikai tu, tava divgadiigaa meitinja un transvestiits shuupolees.<br /><br />*<br /><br />Es biezhi domaaju par to cik impotenta un ievainojama es juutos kopsh beerniem. Pirms beerniem tu vienkaarshi dari visas lietas ko no tevis sabiedriiba sagaida - reekjini, darbs, jebkas bla bla pilseeta un bankas konti. Bet kopsh beerniem, man ir sajuuta ka dienu un nakti visus shos gadus es staavu pie sveetaas uguns, kas man ir jaanosargaa un jaauztur, es nevaru noveerst ne aci. Taapeec logjiski ka nekam citam nav laika. Veel ar S, kad es atgriezos darbaa kad vinjam bija 11 meeneshi, es laikam veel meegjinaaju kaut kaa atgriezties pie buushanas normaalam industriaalaa sabiedriibas cilveekam kas straadaa darbaa un brauc transportaa. Bet jau tad mani niicinaaja skaudri vainas apzinjas viljnji un izmisums, atstaajot S daarzinjaa - redzot kaa vinjsh tur raud un ir pamests novaartaa bez mammas siltuma un uzmaniibas. Es vienkaarshi uz to pieveeru acis.<br />Un tagad kad man ir arii K, es esmu pilniibaa izskritusi no sabiedriibas, jo vinja ir sveetaa uguns, ko shoreiz es sapratu ka nevaru atstaat novaartaa - tas lauztu manu dveeseli un varbuut arii vinjas.<br /><br />Un tad es domaaju par to, cik pateiciiga es esmu R, un visiem viirieshiem kas pasargaa savas sievietes un beernus taa, lai vinjaam nav jaatstaaj savi beerni sveshumaa, kad vinji ir mazinji. Es biezhi apzinos, ka bez R es vienkaarhsi izputeetu, jo esmu pilniibaa zaudeejusi speeju buut industriaalajam cilveekam. Es vienkaarshi esmu mamma tagad. <br /><br />Un tad es domaaju par to kaads haoss un trauksme un tragjeedija ir buut vientuljai mammai. Vinjai visticamaak ir jaamobilizee pilniigi visi savi vaargie speecinji, lai notureetos sabiedriibaa un nosargaatu savus beernus par spiiti tam, ka vinjai ir jaastraadaa un jaabuut projaam no sveetaas uguns, no maajaam, no savas suutiibas un pasha galvenaa uzdevuma. Tas visticamaak totaali salauzh garu, vai vismaz to shaushaliigi ievaino. Un tad es domaaju par beerniem, kas taa arii izaug pie ievainotaam mammaam. Un kas notiek ar vinju dveeseleem?<br /><br />Es esmu laimiigaakais cilveeks pasaulee. Es to vienmeer atcereeshos, un katru dienu apteikshos Dievam par esiibas briinumu.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10864872026-04-30T10:19:002026-04-30T10:19:002026-04-30T09:24:33Z2026-04-30T09:24:33ZVismaz reizi gadaa es zvanu GP un uzskaitu savus simptomus. GP tad man uztaisa asinsanaliizes, pasaka ka viss ir OK and I should just take it easy and get some sleep. That sustains me for another year. Then repeat.<br /><br />Es biezhi juutos kaa tas viirietis no Synecdoche, New York. Tad es domaaju, ka es aptuveni varu sadziivot ar saviem simptomiem, ja vien es izdziivoju vismaz liidz vecumam, kad mani beerni ir patstaaviigi. Kopsh vinjiem man ir added level of EXTREME FEAR izdziivot deelj vinjiem.Stressurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10863012026-04-29T13:36:002026-04-29T13:36:002026-04-29T12:42:18Z2026-04-29T12:42:18ZEs esmu sasniegusi taadu faazi, ka liidz ko gribas kaut ko komenteet par pasauli un taas notikumiem, es uzreiz sevi apshaubu jo: it could be AI, it could be just content, it could be unreal, it could be lizzid ppl, all of it is irrelevant to my 4 walls.<br /><br />Bet mostly, ka it could just be content or AI.<br /><br />So man vienkaarshi vairs nedomaajas par sensaacijaam, my interest has collapsed completely and it is a strange state.<br /><br />I have enough content in the sink and laundry basket and in the folder of future fears and anxieties.<br /><br />Karoche jo vairaak tu kaut ko miili, jo skaudraaks wreck tu kljuusti to meegjinot saglaabt un frishinaat un notureet. I just lament that I cannot enjoy any bit of this pure paradise I am in due to crippling FEAR.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10859662026-04-20T06:56:002026-04-20T06:56:002026-04-20T06:03:49Z2026-04-20T06:03:49ZCilveeki vienkaarshi meegjina taadeejaadi izbeegt no cieshanaam. Bet dziive uz zemes ir cieshanas vai nu ar jeegu vai bezjeedziigas, vai pat destruktiivas. <br /><br />Feminisms vienkaarshi ir taads pats transhumaanisms, where people just want to transcend their nature because nature of course is suffering. But as i said before, suffering is inevitable, all you can choose is ways in which you suffer. And suffering in natural ways beats suffering in unnatural ways.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10858262026-04-19T13:38:002026-04-19T13:38:002026-04-19T12:42:32Z2026-04-19T12:42:32ZContraception is sexist, abortions are sexist - killing a part of your own body that society does not want or support - that is opposite of empowerment. Restraining and denying your female body to be more like a man, to fit in with men and manly habits and ambitions. How pathetic, how sad!urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10856342026-04-17T09:20:002026-04-17T09:20:002026-04-17T08:20:49Z2026-04-17T08:20:49ZGovernments communicating with gifs - world used to be serious.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10851852026-04-16T15:28:002026-04-16T15:28:002026-04-16T13:33:34Z2026-04-16T13:33:34ZEs nezinu vai shis ir vecums vai kaada zaraza, bet reaali meenesii varbuut ir kaads paaris dienas, kad juutos normaali un kaa cilveeks kas var dariit lietas. Paarsvaraa es vai nu ciinos ar kaut kaadiem mistiskiem simptomiem, where your life and future flashes by etc., vai hormoniem, vai sazin kaadu sunjpurnju voblu. Vai tas ir vecums? Vai taas ir bailes? Vai tas ir beidzot Dieva sods par maniem dziivee sakraatajiem greekiem? <br /><br />Shajos briizhos nav patiesaakas patiesiibas, ka dziivot veselaa kjermenii ar veselu garu, un peec Dieva likumiem - ir Paradiize zemes virsuu, un cilveeki to nezina, un labpraatiigi sevi degradee.<br /><br />Kjermenis apzinjai ir kaut kas totaali skaudrs un baiss.Free slob bird lifeurn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10850142026-04-14T11:24:002026-04-14T11:24:002026-04-14T10:32:37Z2026-04-14T10:32:37ZVieniigaa lieta par ko es esmu nepieklajiigi prieciiga sevis sakaraa, ir ka mana skaistuma rutiina ir tik vobliiga un briiva, ka es juutos kaa pavasara taureniitis.<br /><br />Taatad seju es mazgaaju ar Dove ziepeem vai jebkaadu beenru shampuunu vai vannas liidzekli kas pagadaas, tad apsmeereeju manstyle ar random e45 vai buutiibaa jebkuru body lotion that's within grasp. Matus i just wash n go ar jebkuru random herbal essences vai aussie vai pantene shampuunu ko R izveelas. And that's it my folks. Labi, tad man ir triis Laveras shtruntinji skropstaam, uzaciim un luupaam, un foundation ja eju tikties ar actual cilveekiem. Smarzhas man jau gadiem ir random vaniljas essential elljas that are probably meant for a diffuser?<br /><br />Tad kad beerni izaugs lieli un es buushu veca, sakaltusi tantiite, varbuut tad ja man nebuus kur naudu likt es beidzot investeeshu tirkiiza auskaros, vaigu pomaadees un pirmo reizi muuzhaa aizieshu uz manikiiru.<br /><br />Aa, nagus es peedeejo reizi nolakoju 2023. gada Martaa.Vai Latvija ir paradiize?urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10847822026-04-13T11:42:002026-04-13T11:42:002026-04-13T09:53:56Z2026-04-13T09:53:56ZEs nesen nopirku mazu, leetu raachinju, uzstaadiiju vinju virtuvee un vienkaarshi klausos Radio Caroline, and that is all my life is right now.<br /><br />Veel arii es biezhi domaaju par to, kaa cilveeki tik fenomenaali izshkjeerdee laiku apsaukaajoties un kaujoties, kameer vinji vareetu klausiities Radio Caroline un taisiit siermaizes ar kafiju. Like why would you want to make nuclear bombs instead.<br /><br />Jo vairaak mees progreseejam plastmasas koku naakotnee, jo vairaak es atceros detaljas no beerniibas, kas mani skaidri paarliecina, ka beerniiba vai vismaz tas laiks, kad uzaugu vai vieta, bija shkjiista esiibas paradiize. Tagad vienkaarshi ir prison planet.<br /><br />Mana vieniigaa veeleeshanaas dziivee ir, ka mani beerni no shiis esiibas var izveidot, tajaa saskatiit kaut ko visa veertu/skaistu/sveetu.Satan is always scratching at your door.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10845302026-03-26T09:53:002026-03-26T09:53:002026-03-26T10:03:21Z2026-03-26T10:03:21ZNoklausiijos Reichelas Wilsones Rogana interviju un holy moly, we really are screwed aren't we.<br /><br />I really lament the fact, ka ir tik viegli jaunus cilveekus iedvesmot uz buutiibaa jebko. Bija tik katartiksi paklausiities, kur visas shiis kaisliigaas un shaubiigaas feministes un vinju sunpurnji ir izceelushies. Theosophy, satanism, porn - just wholesome and lovely.<br /><br />Ir labi, ja tiiri intstinktiivi feminisms shkjiet shaubiiga huinja, kas ar apgreeciigu taisniibteeloshanu spiezh moraali domaat un dariit lietas, kas ir pretstataa dveeselei. Bet ir veel labaak, intelektuaali prasties un paarliecinaaties, ka intuiicija un dveesele is king.<br /><br />Es sort of saprotu hearty kristieshus, kas neapstaajas, jo it seems just about the only code that actively protects from war on your soul.<br /><br />Ja man 2013. gadaa randomly nebuutu iepaticies Jeezus, es visticamaak tagad buutu nojuugusies Kali, ja es buutu tik taalu izdziivojusi.urn:lj:klab.lv:atom1:methodrone:10842952026-03-24T11:01:002026-03-24T11:01:002026-03-24T11:10:07Z2026-03-24T11:10:07ZLiidz kaadam briidim dziivee tu uz pasauli un citiem cilveekiem skaties kaa uz vecaakiem/autoritaateem, kam noteikti ir definitive gudriiba un best intentions at heart. Bet tad vienu dienu, kad tu jau esi mazliet padziivojis un jau paarej dziives otraa pusee, tu peekshnji atskaarsti - Ok, I haven't figured anything out, I err daily and all my best intentions will never make the smallest dent in the common goodness or rather folly of the world. Tu saproti, ka tik vien tu esi kaa taads varbuut mazliet labaak disciplineets beerns, bet tikuntaa beerns, ar 'kaapeec?' un emociju izvirdumiem, un savtiibu. Tikai tad tu saac skatiit liidzcilveekus kaa taadus pashus beernus, dazhs ir klases gudriitis, kaads ir mieriigs draugs, cits ir negants kauslis, mees neviens neesam autoritaate. Taa ir plika Dieva zheelsirdiiba un briinums, ka mees kaut kaa veel velkam uz priekshu, ka veel notiek labas lietas taadaa kritushaa pasaulee. Taapeec, ka labais ir briinums, mums ir pienaakums par to priecaaties, un tikai uz to fokuseeties!