| 5:25p |
One lost day.
My sister was over the weekend at my place, she drank my 0.7 L Jagermeister, took my new coat, that I have not even put on (and I bought it from my salary), put on my pants, that I am trying to save, as they are the only ones that are whole. And this morning it was pouring fucking rain and I needed both my pants and my coat. I was yelling my lungs out at my mom, about how terrible mother she is to me. I guess I regret it now, but actually not really. It is true. My sister has been a failure the whole life, and I have had to help her at my expense- I was not allowed to sleep, if I didn't help my sister with her studies, that I could do better than her, I had to be passionate and understanding, I have to give her money when she , or the whole family calls me a heartless monster, I have to put up with the fact,t hat she is a stupid, dirty, uncaring and irresponsible person, but still she gets the appartment and living alone. I can rip my ass in two, I can pay my bills, buy my own clothes and pay for them myself, buy my own booze, but it will still be taken by that bitch, worn and destroyed and drunk up. This is not the first time. I need a lockable room, but I cannot do that. I want to get away, but I am in no position to move out or to make demands that I will close up my room and leave my mom without any access to the closet.
So my day has not been awesome, it has been pathetic and terrible. Not to mention it is raining and I feel like shit. I ran out of house without breakfast quite early, because I was so damn pissed off. I was without any breakfast and angry. SO I went to school, ate breakfast and now I am at work.
7 hours later...
And basically.. I am leaving to home soon. Has not become any better. |