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01:20 pm mamuts [Link]	Kurš te pukstēja par garajiem krievu palagiem, m? :DDD 6. decembris. Pulksten 18.00. Sāka snigt. Mēs ar sievu sēdējām pie loga, dzērām karstu tēju un skatījāmies gleznainajā skatā, kas pavērās aiz loga. Sniegpārsliņas lēnām un maigi krita uz kokiem, zemes, mašīnām, pārklājot visu ar baltu sniega segu. 8.decembris. Mēs pamodāmies un ieraudzījām, ka visa pasaule ap mums ir mirdzošas sniega sagšas pārklāta. Kolosāls skats! Pirmo reizi mūžā paņēmu rokās sniega lāpstu un attīriju no kupenām gan pagalmu, gan iebraucamo ceļu. Man tas patika varen labi. Pēc īsa brīža pabrauca sniega tīrāmā mašīna un nejauši uzgāza sniegu uz tikko iztīrītā iebraucamā ceļa. Vadītājs smaidīja un pamāja man ar roku. Es pamāju viņam pretī un notīriju ceļu vēlreiz. 10.decembris. Šonakt uzsniga vēl 15 centimetru bieza sniega kārta. Ārā temperatūra nokritās līdz 11 grādiem zem nulles. Īsta ziema! Zem sniega seguma dažiem kokiem nolūza zari. Es tīriju iebraucamo ceļu, pēc neilga laika brauca garam sniega tīrītājs....un atkal izdarīja savu jociņu. 12.decembris. Saulīte dienā sildīja tik čakli, ka daļa sniega izkusa. Pēcpusdienā temperatūra strauji nokritās, un viss pārvērtās ledū. Tīrīdams sniegu, nokritu uz pēcpuses. Slimnīcā mani nofotografēja no visām pusēm, taču, par laimi, nekas nebija salauzts. Laika ziņās teica, ka gaidāms sniegs. Sievas automašīnai nopirku riepas ar radzēm. 14.decembris. Nakti uzkrita vēl 25 centimetri balto mēslu. Sieva savā automobīlī saskrējās ar sniega tīrītāju. Automobīļa motors nu ir dēlī. Ja šāds laiks turpināsies, sniegs neizkusīs līdz pat augusta beigām. Sniega tīrītājs šodien pabrauca garām divas reizes. 16.decembris. Joprojām snieg. Snieg visu laiku. Mūsu dārzā nav neviena koka, kam sniegs nebūtu aplauzis visus zarus. Elektrības nebija lielāko nakts daļu. Lai nenosaltu līdz nāvei, dedzinājām sveces un lodlampu, kas apgāzās un gandrīz nodedzināja māju. Man izdevās uguni apdzēst, taču uz rokām ir ne tikai tulznas, bet arī otrās pakāpes apdegumi. Nosvilināju skropstas un uzacis. Ceļā uz slimnīcu sadauzījām manu džipu. 18.decembris. Aizsala tualete. Ja iesiet ārā, neēdiet brūno sniegu. 20.decembris. Tie nolādētie mēsli arvien vēl krīt un krīt. Lai, ejot līdz pastkastei, nenosaltu, ir jāsavelk mugura viss skapja saturs. Ja noķeršu to kretīnu, kas vada sniega tīrāmo mašīnu, pārgrauzīšu viņam rīkli un izraušu ādamābolu. Tā vien šķiet, ka viņš glūn aiz stūra, lai acumirklī varētu bliezt ar 130 kilometriem stundā un aprakt to, kas kādreiz bija mans iebraucamais ceļš. 22.decembris. Elektrības joprojām nav. Mājā sāk izsalt prusaki. Sniega tīrāmā mašīna iestiga uz ceļa, un tas ņerga vadītājs uzdrošinājās nākt pie manis prasīt sniega lāpstu. Es viņam paskaidroju, ka esmu salauzis jau piecas lāpstas, rokot viņa sagāzto sniegu, un salauzu vēl sesto, pasveicinot viņa pretīgo viepli. 24.decembris. Priecīgus Ziemassvētkus. Snieg. Laika prognozes paredz vēl divdesmit centimetru sniega tuvākajās 24 stundās. 25.decembris. Laika prognozētāji meloja. Sasniga trīsdesmit pieci centimetri sniega. Es laikam no sniega baltuma sāku kļūt akls, jo man šķiet, ka sieva izskatās tīri labi. 26.decembris. Sieva iet prom - varbūt uz visiem laikiem. Es vairs nevaru pakustināt kāju pirkstus. Neesmu redzējis sauli veselu mūžību. Naktī gaidāms sniegs. Aizdedzināju māju, lai nevajadzētu rakt no jumta nost sniegu. 27.decembris. Mani arestēja par vandālismu un huligānisku uzbrukumu sniega tīrītāja šoferim. Sods: trīs nedēļas jātīra sniegs veco ļaužu pansionātā. iesūtīja Sporcmen, par © nekas nav zināms Un tagad - oriģinālais teksts no http://picturesandbox.com/browse/free-stock-photos/390892712/White-Shit.html: by Uncle Ariel, added February 14, 2007 Diary of a Snow Shoveler... December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life. December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel. December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying. December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow. December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches of the god damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think shes a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wondeful Life" one mor time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me 1,400 to replace all my pipes. December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!! December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted. December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
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