The Left ([info]left) wrote 28. Februāris 2006, 13:26
Journal #2 2006 - unwillingness
I just can't stand the state I am in. There is total unwillingness to do anything that is concerned school. Anything. No a snigle task seems interesting or worth to make. This is very unusual for me, since I almost always have done what I have to do without complainig. Senti's essays, for example. Those were loads of work, I could spend whole day writing them, and doing my other homework. And I did not feel that this would cause me any inconvenience. I mean, what you have to do, you have to do, this belief has followed me since my childhood.

But now it is like this. Whenever I have to do something, I hesitate. I do not want to. I have even started to dislike going to school, which is also uncommon concerning me. Really, the best way to spend the day now would be just being lazy and doing nothing at all, without even thinking about duties, homework, without keeping the timetable of the day in my mind.

And the worst part of this is the fact that I do not know why this has happened to me. Maybe it is because the winter goes to the end, and I am physiologically tired of it, but the spring that could bring some energy has not come yet. Or, it is because of the driving school, which I must attend each Saturday and Sunday at 9 o'clock, thus depriving me from the usual sleep in the weekends. Or maybe I am just tired?

I hope this ends soon. The spring is coming, after all.
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