Garastāvoklis:	blank
Mūzika:	Vow by TENDER

luna
I might have offended some people by not writing here. The truth is it’s kinda hard, and not only because I’ve been busy, but for a person who takes risks I’m really cowardly.
The thought of the fact that my current emotions stay here forever is scary. What do I even write here? If I voice my doubts about life and university they seemingly become more real. Today I read an article about a woman who felt like she would never have a relationship because of how emotionally guarded she was, and for the first time I felt like I’m not the only one like this on the planet, everything she said perfectly described my own life. But I also feel like I’ve grown so much and moved on already from the worst of it. I finally feel like there is space for romantic attraction in my brain, but actually taking chances will ask for a lot of courage. I need a reminder to not run away.
l’oiseau told me she would try to do that. I hope I get into some university, truth be told I don’t know what I will do if I don’t. I feel like my time here for this period in my life has ended, I need to go, I need to learn and grow. I need to move. I’m both excited for the future and afraid, because for the first time in my life I don’t know what will happen.
Everything will change no matter what. I think I can do this, but growing up is scary, I never understood how scary it actually is until I had to do it. Once some time ago I sat and thought of the people in my life and I understood that for the first time ever I don’t even wanna meet new people or make new connections, because I felt like nothing could ever be better than what I already have. I felt like I might move to UK and just isolate myself. But then again I know it’s not the right thing to do. In some way I believe part of my journey here is to just show people that kindness and love exists and I don’t want to block out anybody.
This is a very long talk, and I have to leave now. I will be back,I promise!
Love, Luna.