| 6:13a |
I should make this place a FO zone.
So, right now I feel as though my life's over before it even began. A strange concept, I admit. But that's just how I feel. It's almost like I'm retired. I'm a fucking recluse, bound to my parent's house, abused daily by this drug known as the Internet.I try to change. I try to treat every day as a fresh start. I vow to grasp onto this thing called life; get a job, socialise, move out of home, all that responsible life-y stuff. But I trap myself in, restricted by limited self esteem, my total lack of confidence, my raging immaturity, my fear of rejection and humiliation. I'm so weak that I laugh. Yes, picture me laughing. Wait, no, don't look at me! I'm shy....Fuck. I can't even complain properly. I have to add in humour so as to distract from the reality I'm trying to portray. At least there's one thing I look forward to every day. Chatting to a certain somebody - you know who you are - and my other various friends on the Net. And roleplay. Why do I like roleplay so much? Because it's another escape from my poor existence; a chance to take on the guise of someone other than myself. Like acting on a keyboard without getting paid.Ohh, this is depressing. >.> |