| Čaks Noriss |
[1. Feb 2006|19:17] |
• Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
• Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
• Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
• Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
• In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
• The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
• In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
• Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
• Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.
• The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
• What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims
before they died? His shoe.
• Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" |
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