February 22nd, 2017
You are alone in this. I want to burn those words in me so I can finally grasp it. He won't help. Any other setting won't help. Inspiration or motivation won't help. There is no people who could help. Probably even I myself will not help. But still... I need to do this. I need to learn to do this. Yes, I'm alone in this. Suck it up. And do it.
|m31||09:31 pm - The Woman|
Current Music: Joe Strummer, Mescaleros - Mondo Bongo
If it is not me, it is someone else. I don't know if I can handle anyone else. I need someone stronger than me. So that when I can't..Pick me up of the floor and breath the life in me.
Current Music: Beyonce - XO
February 20th, 2017
Always trying to find the right path, the loop which gives meaning to life. Ah... such a smart girl. But still breaking down all the time. Not able to fix herself. Or maybe it's not possible. Mistakes as a tool for evolution. I can't deny I have come far. But it's never enough. Please do not dismiss my ability to reason by giving simplistic "journey is the goal" advice. How far still I need to go and most importantly why should I even bother to do that?
Fumbling words which represents only banality of this. If you can't express the deeper meaning, if it gets restricted in words, maybe there ain't one. Or at least maybe you shouldn't bother.
Ja es rakstīšu šeit...
Bet no otras puses - gadu laikā te daudz kas ir pierakstīts. Tomēr tiem, kuri mani zin, tas nav nekāds pārsteigums, ka es atkal nojūku vai nolūztu. Bet varbūt vajag pierakstīt tā, lai tiem, kuri nezin, arī ir iespēja uzzināt. Varbūt. Ja vien vēlas. Varbūt pagaidām te.
February 19th, 2017
The SUBNETS approach is directed to advance psychiatry beyond the realm of dialogue-driven observations and into the realm of therapy driven by quantifiable characteristics of neural state. In doing so, the program would create one of the most comprehensive datasets of systems-based brain activity ever recorded. [..] These models will be adapted onto next-generation, closed-loop neural stimulators that exceed currently developed capacities for simultaneous stimulation and recording, with the goal of providing investigators and clinicians an unprecedented ability to record, analyze, and stimulate multiple brain regions for therapeutic purposes.
Tur, kur ES HBP sasniedz izcilību teorijā un progresā uz pilnu smadzeņu emulāciju, ASV BRAIN iniciatīva sola līdzīga līmeņa specifiskākus tehniskos rezultātus ar, savā ziņā, ne mazāk tālejošām sekām.
Jācer, ka Trampa uzbrukumi zinātnei vai nu nevainagosies panākumiem, vai vismaz neturpināsies daudz tālāk par klimatoloģijas disciplīnu (kam tad būtu jāspēj kalpot par buferi un uzmanības piesaistīšanas zonu atlikušajā prezidentūras laikā), jo šī ar augstu varbūtību ir viena no neiroinformātikas un neirozinātnes trim proverbiālajām “Arhimēda svirām”. Izcēlums citātā mans.
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Human Error - Endure Yourself: The Spiral Instinct
The more I use it, the more Electron looks to me like Flash of the present age, with everything the comparison implies.
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Flesh Field - Viral Extinction: Overload
“Isolating yourself erodes your health, and sitting in a chair all day is a recipe for neuroses. Get off the Internet, turn off your screens, and go have guilt-free fun playing with your friends! You’ll be less anxious, less lonely, more relaxed, and a whole lot happier.”
“Just remember: Sad people tend to focus on the lyrics, while happy people just listen to the music.” - I guess I have always been sad?
“The physical sensations that preceded my panic attacks were the jitters (shaking hands, quivering voice) and a rapid resting heart rate. Guess what gave me both of those sensations? Coffee.” - quit coffee, drink water, tea, use sugar-free gum
Micronutrient deficiency test - 46,29 EUR, will do
Current Music: AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
February 18th, 2017
“A company is stronger if it is bound by love rather than by fear…. If the employees come first, then they’re happy.” If only companies in Latvia would understand this principle.
99 points out of 100. Still room for improvement. They took a point from punctuality. Are you kidding me? From everywhere they could have deducted points, they deducted it from punctuality, because I sometimes forgot to switch from 'pause' to 'ready' in the system in time. This is so frustrating and lame.
Also I have to work with my non-existing confidence. As soon as I will have my confidence back, you can trust me, I will be gone with the wind. And I will have it back!
February 16th, 2017
“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
Second evaluation tomorrow. Fuck. Every day is struggle not to flip the table and throw in towel. Fuck you motherfuckers! Haha.
Current Music: Linkin Park - Given Up
February 12th, 2017
Why try to mend something that is already broken? Just throw it away. It is easy. Easy! You do it with things, you do it with people. The day I start believing this kind of thinking is when everything will fall apart. Yet so many people do it all the time. Makes me sick to my stomach. How can it be it does not kill you inside?
I will not be lonely forever and I will not miss you forever, and I will be happy again.
Current Music: Tritonal - I Feel The Love
February 11th, 2017
And it did not take long.
Current Music: Bat For Lashes - Sleep Alone 909s in DarkTimes Mix
February 9th, 2017
This is not the time to understand. This is the time to wait and let the path unfold. So let your mind to meditate and be in wide open space.
Current Music: Celldweller - Hold On
|nomirusi||09:14 pm - JKP|
Iekš feisbūkiem sākt rādīties Jaunās konservatīvās partijas reklāmas. Un atkal nolika uz pauzes. Pag? Tā nav satīra? Vēl jo īpatnējāk liekas, ka man te khem paziņas to partiju ielaikojušas.
Transports bez maksas. Un pamatojumi vispār. Tā tiešām nav satīra?