flawless

Kaa lai es iemaacu zirgam nebaidiities no treilera? Shodien zirgs ieraudziija vienu taadu briesmekli(no 60 metru attaaluma) un satraucaas ne pa jokam. Kraaca, shnaaca, nosplaudiija mani, raavaas uz visaam puseem, visu laiku ar baltu aci skatoties uz treili. Vareetu domaat, ka kaadreiz kaadu paarestiibu izcietis. Kad es zirdzinu pirku un vajadzeeja vest uz jaunajaam maajaam, tad bija mieriigs kaa engelis. Varbuut shodien kautkaada diivaina diena.
Visu dienu saap galva.
Taa uzmaakshanaas mani saapina. Es negribu. Teicu nee. Bet neklausiija.
Tumsa izraisa divejaadas izjuutas, vai nu pilniigaako apaatiju, kad gribaas tikai guleet gultaa un klausiities muuziku, vai nu milzīgu rosību, kad šķiet, lai ko tu arī nedarītu visa ir par maz. Shodien pilniigi noteikti ir apaatija. Patiesiibaa pat kautkas uz depresijas pusi. Nesaprotu vienu cilveeku. Laikam gluzhi vienkaarshi nevajag analizeet.
Paseedeeshu gultaa, padziedaashu liidzi dziesmaam pleilistaa, padomaashu par cilveeku, kuru nesaprotu un par cilveeku, kuru tieshi shobriid veelos sev blakus.

Current Mood: itkaa gauduliigs
Current Music: Robbie Williams - Eternity

It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything

And you open the door and you
step inside. We're inside our
hearts. Now, imagine your pain as a
white ball of healing light. That's
right, it's your pain the pain itself is a ball of
healing light

This is your life
Good to the last drop
doesn't get any better than this

This is your
life, and it's ending one minute at
a time

This isn't a seminar
This is no weekend retreat
Where you are now
You can't even imagine what the bottom will be like
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything

Nothing is static
Everything is evolving
Everything is falling apart
This is your life
It doesn't get any better than this
This is your life
And its ending one minute at a time

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world

You are not your bank account
You are not the clothes you wear
You are not the contents of your wallet

You are not your bowel cancer
You are not your grand latte?
You are not the car you drive
You are not your fucking khakis?

You have to give up
You have to give up
You have to realise that someday you will die
Until you know that, you are useless.

I say let me be never complete
I say may I never be content
I say deliver me from Swedish furniture
I say deliver me from clever art
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth

I say you have to give up
I say evolve and let the chips fall where they may
This is your life

Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life
And its ending one minute at a time

You have to give up
You have to give up
(I want you to hit me as hard as you can)


Tik ljoti esmu piekjeerusies shiem vaardiem. Tie iet cauri visai manai dziivei.

Current Mood: evil
Current Music: atkal - Pixies - Where is my Mind

Oooo, man piemiitosha iipashiiba - neaptveramaa aatrumaa speeju mainiit domas un sajuutas. Pie velna domaashanu par attieciibaam. Vajag dejot. Jaaatrod vislabaako daans mjuuzik un - aiziet! Patreiz gan skan Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina, taa ir dziesma no Parex bankas reklaamas. Ljoooti patiik. Jaauzgriezh skaljaak.
(Me fanaatiski leekaa pa diivaanu un kauc - fankii kold mediinaa)
Varu sadereet, ka kaiminji nevar paguleet, sienas nav pietiekoshi biezas. Bet man tomeer vajag patrakot.
Kaapeec shobriid nav blakus kaads, kursh veeleetos patrakot kopaa ar mani? Nu nekas. Paardziivoshu.
(Driiz naaks kaiminji suudzeeties, bet es jau durvju zvanu nedzirdeeshu...)
Ooops!
(Me zuud kratiities pa istabu)

Current Mood: biki kreizii
Current Music: Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina

Es sapratu ko veelos. Gribu pie sava zirga. Veelos ieiet stallii, sasveicinaaties ar zirgiem, veelos parunaaties ar savu melni, iedot kaadu cukurgraudu. Gribu, lai uzsnieg sniegs. Gribu burviigu izjaadi pa tikko piesnigushu mezhu. Auljot pa plashu pljavu. Ehhh.... Bet pie zirgiem tikshu tikai peec 16 stundaam. Nevaru sagaidiit!!

Taa pati, pati neatkaartojamaakaa sajuuta stallii ir pilniigaa aizmirshanaas. Kad esmu pie zirga, pazuud visas nepatiikamaas probleemas.

Paseedeeshu un padomaashu par attieciibaam.

Current Mood: apskaidrots
Current Music: Billie Myers - Kiss the rain

Ja nezini ko gribi - dabuusi to kas paliek paari ...

Atkal nezinu ko gribu. Droshi vien nomainiit dziesmas playlistaa...

Current Music: datora duukonja

Nav neatrisināmu problēmu. Ir nepatīkami risinājumi.

Current Mood: joprojaam nekauniigs
Current Music: joprojaam taa pati...

Nu tad beidzot atradu ko mekleeju. Guud.

Es atkal seezhu pie datora, seezhu Cibaa, speeleeju dumjas TVnet speeliites, lai gan blakus staav vesela kaudze ar nepadariitiem darbiem. Vee. Tfu! Bet ko dariit, ja esmu radiita, lai dziivotu peec deviizes - darbs nav vilks, uz mežu neaizskries! Ak, un veel... Darbs nav nauda, nekad nebeidzas...

Nosleepshu visus darbus zem gultas un skapii, ieieshu vannaa, ienaakshu atpakalj istabaa, konstateeshu, ka uz galda nav neviena nepadariita darba un liidz riitam sveetlaimee veelreiz 'Rozes vaardu' izlasiishu, jeb vismaz pie datora patupeeshu. Gandriiz kaa vienmeer... un tad, peec nedeeljaam divaam, buushu novedusi histeerijaa gan sevi, gan visus citus.

Cik maigi Elviss Preslijs uz mani skataas... no fotograafijas pie sienas...

Cause nobody ever survives I'm praying to stay in her arms

Current Mood: nekauniigs
Current Music: Puscifer - Rev 22:20

Skaudiiba vai kaut kas cits, bet... jau apnicis veerot kaa skolnieki ar visu dveeseli izbauda briivlaiku, kameer man jaamokaas praksee(veidojot gjipsha cilni!). Jaasamierinaas... veel tikai 2 dienas... un mees visi atkal buusim vienliidziigi.

Current Mood: savaadaaks
Current Music: Radiohead - Creep

Kaa apnicis krist no zirga! Tas saap.
Garastaavoklis visai iigns, jo nekaadi nevaru atrast kaadu dziesmu no filmas 'Fight Club'.
Laikam vajag guleet, buus jaapameklee citreiz.

Current Mood: sympathetic
Current Music: Pixies - Where is my Mind