Tu neredzi video.Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: [..] the Greeblings were short, dark, shrublike folk who worshipped the ladder.
Ludovic Kennedy: Why was that?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Well, because they'd never actually seen one, so they couldn't prove it existed and, naturally, they believed in it. Question of faith, really.
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Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Yes, they lived in subterranean caves. Caves from which they kept up their underground resistance movement.
Ludovic Kennedy: Against the Romans?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Yes.
Ludovic Kennedy: Was it effective?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Very effective. The Romans never got to the bottom of it. In fact, I don't think the Romans were aware of how much resistance was going on underground, since the Greeblings never surfaced and the Romans went back to Rome in 410 AD none the wiser.
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Ludovic Kennedy: Your father, now. What sort of relationship did you have with him?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: My father was a remote, icy man. Remoter, icier and indeed manlier than I was.
Ludovic Kennedy: Were you close?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Well, he was closer than me.
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Ludovic Kennedy: [..] Sir Arthur, and your second gift---two turtle doves. Is there a sentimental reason?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: No, I'm afraid I can't be too sentimental about a bird that attacks helpless turtles. No, I eat them without compunction. I must say they're delicious. Lovely, lovely turtle flavour.
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Ludovic Kennedy: What about your mother?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: My mother, by contrast, was a saint. Whenever I think of my dear mother, I have an abiding image of a small, kindly, plump, grey-haired lady pottering at the sink. 'Get away from the bloody sink!' my mother would yell at her. 'And get out of my kitchen, you awful plump kindly woman!' We never found out who she was.
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Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: [..] it took seven years of committee meetings before they could decide on a venue for the committee meetings. The only thing we all agreed on was it shouldn't be Brussels. So, naturally, Brussels became the compromise choice.
Ludovic Kennedy: Did you like Brussels?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: My attitude was very much 'when in Brussels, do as the Belgians do---leave as soon as possible.' Brussels can be a lonely place if you're on your own.
Ludovic Kennedy: Does Brussels have much nightlife?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: The nightlife in Brussels is very similar to the daylife, but a bit darker and nothing's open. A sort of less hectic Luton.
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Ludovic Kennedy: What's your favourite place in the world?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: I think I'd have to say the Galapagos Islands. Extraordinary creatures live there in the Galapagos. Beautiful little two-footed millipede, to name but one. What particularly lodges in my mind is the armadillos. Luminous armadillos which are extraordinary to see. They swim in formation off the coast there---absolutely dazzling.
Ludovic Kennedy: What is the cause of their luminosity? Phosphorescence?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Paint.
Ludovic Kennedy: Paint?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Yes, luminous paint that's put on them.
Ludovic Kenney: By whom?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: By the painter bird. These are birds which once a year fly over to Latin America, dive into huge vats of luminous paint and then fly all the way back and wipe themselves off on armadillos.
Ludovic Kennedy: That does sound a little unlikely, Sir Arthur, if I may say so.
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: It is. Well, a lot of things in nature are unlikely. I mean, who could imagine an animal called the prottle, entirely made out of curtain rings?
Ludovic Kenney: Does such an animal exist?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: No. I said who can imagine it?
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Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Oh yes, in the Twenties in Paris, with all the larks in Montparnasse---which was a bit like London in the Sixties, actually, only in black and white and without subtitles.
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Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: I worked in the futures market.
Ludovic Kennedy: How does that work?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Well, basically, you have to get hold of a number of clients with lots of money and they give it to you to speculate with. If, for example, you came to me and told me you thought the price of lichen was going to go up, I'd pocket the money and hope it went down and say 'Sorry, old chap, you've lost your money.' If it went up, I'd change my name and start all over again. That's basically how it works.
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Ludovic Kennedy: How did you become a member?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: One was approached.
Ludovic Kennedy: Covertly?
Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling: Yes, they were very, very discreet. I was actually told later that I had been approached thirty or forty times before my successful luring.