sviesc - June 19th, 2008

About June 19th, 2008

futurama12:20 am
Make some new friends, but so keep old:
Some are silver, but some are GOLD!!!
fiilingz i : drunk
man skan:: mtv-futurama

happy ending11:35 pm
This is the hardest story, that i've ever told,
no hope, no love, no glory,
happy endings have gone forever more...

i've wasted EVERY day!!!

In spite of me feeling more or less ok, smiling and having fun,
i really hate living.
I just can't stop seeing what's coming to me.
Bought a ticket to Helsinki. 15th of august is the date of departure.
actually, i am really sick of being here, of living my life and facing the truth as it is-
nasty and fucked-up! :@
More or less everything i do, is done wrong to someone- if i try to do something, that my sister, for example, would appreciate, both my mother and my grandmother will find done wrong, unfinished or whatever.
each and every morning i wake up to hear what everyone wants from me- what am i supposed to do during the day. but why me? why should i attend to my sisters duties, contact legal persons instead of my mom, do almost every single fucking thing, that pops up in grannys head?!
don't i have a life? And instead of thanking me, all i get is that something is wrong, something has not been done right after telling me to do it, i get sentences that everyone has to do something except me ( of course). The worst, i think, is that mother tells that she has to do everything by herself and nobody's helping her. Fuck that!!! if she wants no one to help her, we can arrange that quickly!
tomorrow is the day irita returns. is that good? most probably. do i want it?... you may guess. It seems that some of our best friends can fuck up everything by doing some microscopic thing wrong. Knowing, i respect different thoughts, and trust decisions. ok...starting to get emotional/ again/ but in this case it seems that everyone except for me want me to be nice to her, welcome, act as if nothing has happened, that every fucking thing is the way it should be. well...honestly- fuck that! i can smile...but not like i mean it!
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in!!!!
and in addition- this summer solstice is going to be rather interesting...i have absolutely no idea what happens, putting una and inese together...:)
let's find out what the future holds for me... if i get bored, i can always go somewhere else!!!:)
fiilingz i : dying
man skan:: mika
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