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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 240 most recent ones recorded in
dystophy's LiveJournal:
| Monday, March 25th, 2019 | |
| 11:35 am | nacionālās barošanās īpatnības Himalajiešu virtuve taču skan daudz lepnāk nekā Indiešu virtuve. |
| Saturday, March 23rd, 2019 | |
| 9:53 pm | daily mysantrophy Dogs are better than people, I mean, cats. |
| Friday, March 22nd, 2019 | |
| 1:11 am | dream my goldfish turned into a triton. |
| Thursday, March 21st, 2019 | |
| 11:50 pm | + thoughts can lie, actions are permanent. Even when dead and forgotten; nothing can be undone. |
| 9:55 pm | definīcijas Kāpēc zināt definīcijas, ja zini patiesību. |
| Wednesday, March 20th, 2019 | |
| 11:24 pm | Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam ""Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam" was the song taught to children as part of the Sunbeams church program. It refers to shining the light of Jesus through your own life. It goes, "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam to shine for him each day; in every way try to please Him: at home, at school, at play..." The style and words of the song were consistent with patenting, school and church value systems in the era it was most popular. The song is longer, and it is affirming that Jesus cares for and values children. When I heard / saw Kurt sing the song on the MTV unplugged version I was struck by several facts. First, Kurt spent some time as a teenager living with an Evangelical Christian family and supposedly became a born-again Christian during that time. Sometimes people expect this to solve their problems. Kurt suffered from depression - it is obvious in his work and his life ended in a suicide and a note that shows just how depressed he was. Sadly, I think Kurt was angry at God. I think he wanted to be bright and "easily amused" (as All Apologies says). He was not. He was full of emotional turmoil. Hearing the sunbeam song (the real one) sounds ridiculous in such a state. So I think that's why he sang this parody. He doesn't feel he could ever be a sunbeam, and if he can't why would anybody (including Jesus) want him." |
| 10:46 pm | ugliness is in the eye of beholder Only I can save me; and not, surprisingly for some, their favored critique- whether open, or spoken behind my back. Maybe I deserve some kind of punishment, but don't they think I'm already living it? All their words and attitudes devoted to me are in vain. I don't care about whatever they want to proclaim as moral or normal. All their morals, values, principles, good habits, "I-am-a-good-person" consciousness, are just tools that serve them for survival and reaching their goals. So, basically, if I currently don't have big goals or don't intend to survive, that automatically makes me a "bad person" in their eyes. |
| 2:00 am | Diogenes I should shut my godless mouth. |
| Saturday, March 16th, 2019 | |
| 4:35 pm | V. Frankl Man's main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain, but rather to see a meaning in his life. |
| Monday, March 11th, 2019 | |
| 7:03 pm | * un, kā jau tas ir parasts, cilvēki, kuriem nav, ko darīt, aizgūtnēm aprunā pārējos. Šausmīga īpašība, kas visbiežāk piemīt tieši "labiem cilvēkiem". Šis ir vīstošo ausu vakars. |
| 6:13 pm | ad absurdum Es faking nojūgšos, bet es nevaru atkāpties, un ir jau par vēlu mainīt kursu. |
| Sunday, March 10th, 2019 | |
| 10:27 am | the sense of self You don't need to know everything about the situation to act and to pick the optimal option; it's more important to interact and move on. Overthinking equals procrastination- while you already have all the necessary, the most crucial answers within you. You are the keeper of that truth, which is you. Intuition, in this case, is no worse guide and tool than mind, if you are able to use it appropriately. |
| 10:22 am | what I do become ...what I have been working for. And, on subconscious/ big picture level, what my mind has been paying attention to. |
| Saturday, March 9th, 2019 | |
| 8:15 pm | Bukovsky @ Čē Pasākuma sākums (lekcija) lika mazliet vilties un izklausījās nesagatavots, tādēļ tā turpinājumu nesagaidīju, kaut gan mazums alkohola, protams, būtu palīdzējis kulturālā mierā vakaru nosēdēt līdz galam. Tā ka, par muzikālo daļu nevaru spriest. Aizgāju mājās. Tomēr sanāca tā, ka pat tur pilns ar odzēm, jāskatās, kur soli spert. |
| Thursday, March 7th, 2019 | |
| 2:14 am | stahp beidziet būt apdāvināti; I have no chance. |
| 2:11 am | thu Paradoksāli, ka cilvēks visdzīvāk var iedomāties tieši nāvi |
| 2:09 am | x How to live? Drawing portraits, and making awful- awful jokes might be one way |
| Friday, February 15th, 2019 | |
| 9:28 am | grayscale Laikam jau visiem Valentīndienas paģiras. Skatoties sejās tāda sajūta, ka ikvienam gribās vemt pašam no savas esamības. Nevaru aizliegt. |
| Wednesday, February 13th, 2019 | |
| 12:47 am | laiks laiski paklabēt There's no absolute free will. The term is wrong, and it creates wrong assumptions. Should have called it conditioned will. |
| Thursday, February 7th, 2019 | |
| 11:31 pm | later whatever spoils you too much, later destroys you |