"...Religion (christianity) has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And th invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, He has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anger, where He will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever till the end of time!
...but he loves you. He loves you and He needs money! He always needs money!
He's all powerful, all perfect, all knowing, all wise, but somehow - can't handle money!"
(c)George Carlin