The Register: Girls: fancy an SMS-fired Bluetooth vibrator?

NSFW Our female readers are invited to imagine the folllowing scenario: It's Monday, you're at work, you're bored, you're thinking "how could I possibly spice up this trawl of the 2,000 weekend emails in my inbox?" when it occurs to you that if someone were to invent an SMS-triggered Bluetooth vibrator then your partner could bring you to an earth-shattering climax simply by texting a few sweet words of lurv, leaving you totally satisfied as a woman and fit to face the most daunting online task.

Connected to a mobile phone with Bluetooth it becomes an intimate, silent connection between two lovers, regardless of distance. The Toy is worn internally, linked to a mobile phone and controlled by sms text messages sent to the phone. Once read, the message is transported automatically to The Toy, which turns it into vibrations - with a huge range of movements, depending on what you have written. Just say what you feel, The Toy will do the rest.

Good Lord. Apparently, you crack off a quick SMS containing a secret six-digit tag which enables the device. Twenty-six letters each have three "different movement profiles" with five speeds and three time settings. This allows 45 possible effects from any single letter and an astounding "7200 variations from a single text message".

Te nu bija. Sapriecājāties par mantiņu ar pērlītēm*. Ha! Beigās gan ir viens ne-jauks teikums. :> Finally, The Toy is "not discoverable in a Bluetooth search", so there's no chance of your other half being molested by a wireless groper. Ak..

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* ar pērlītēm – nu, savējie sapratīs, kas ir ar pērlītēm.