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The Top Valentine's Day Sex Cards

Roses are red, violets are blue.
As blue as my balls, after an evening with you.

I bought you the chocolates,
I bought you the pearl.
Now shut up and ride me,
Reverse-cowgirl.

There once was a man from Decatur,
Whose girl disappeared when he ate her.
"No matter", said he.
"She'll be back -- wait and see.
Takes a minute while I reinflate her."

My love for you is endless,
It truly has no measure.
And if you had a telescope,
Like me, you'd see my pleasure.

I gave to you a brand new car,
A shiny Geo Prizm.
Now how about you do me right
And drain me of my jism?

Though I'm lousy with poetic line,
I truly love you, Valentine.
It makes me feel so very fine
When my penis enters your vagine.
Uh.